


Bright Lights

by Riddleisourking, ThiefOfADHD



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A nook is not like a vagina dave, Archer references, Child Abuse, Dave Needs A Hug, Egg babes?, Everyone will probably eventually make an appearance, F/F, F/M, Gen, I dont really know how to tag that, Jack needs to be sprayed with a water bottle, Karkat is russian and has red hair, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mpreg, Smut, The baby is in an egg before being born, there we go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-10-02 14:45:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10220567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riddleisourking/pseuds/Riddleisourking, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThiefOfADHD/pseuds/ThiefOfADHD
Summary: Dating a multi-billionaire director is hard. Being pregnant with a multi-billionaire director’s kid is harder. Missing your multi-billionaire director while being pregnant with his kid is probably not the situation you wished to be in, but here you are.Your name is Karkat Vantas, and no one told you life was gonna be this gay.





	1. Two Months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat might be a little or a lot out of character but it is what it is
> 
> If you don't like it, that's okay. Just don't leave any negative comments.

Dating a multi-billionaire director is hard. Being pregnant with a multi-billionaire director’s kid is harder. Missing your multi-billionaire director while being pregnant with his kid is probably not the situation you wished to be in, but here you are.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and no one told you life was gonna be this gay.

 

_March 10th, 2017_  
_5:30pm_

Your fingers moved deftly over the expanse of the piano as a gentle melody started up and you lost yourself in your performance as memories of Dave and that shitty half-smile that he gave to everyone except you fluttered into your psyche. You got the real deal, the full smile and every time he thought to grace you with its presence, it made your heart beat fast and your fingers flew faster and fluidly over the piano. It was therapeutic to be able to make beautiful noise even though you felt as if your world was falling apart steadily.

Dave had been gone for what felt like months with only short appearances every now and then. You were asleep during these instances, and when you read his messages left behind on your pesterchum, you felt the cold stab of something in your heart.

You bow your head as tears slowly dripped down your face, you felt like a kid for acting like this. He hadn't abandoned you, these things were out of his control and he couldn't help it. It had only been a month since he had left and yet, your emotional reserves were drained and if it weren't for the beautiful music you were producing, you don't know where you would be at this moment.

Friends periodically ignored your frantic, and somewhat shitty, attempts to talk about what a toll Dave's absence had taken on you. You figure that when he comes back, your relationship would be stronger than ever. If you could survive this long without each other, it boded pretty well.

You finally hear your phone go off just as you finish the chorus to a new song you had been trying out and you pause as you pick up the device and read the red text that sent pangs through your entire body. You missed him again.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 18:06 --

TG: sup

TG: karkat

TG: karkat

TG: earth to karkat

TG: karkat you there

TG: strider to grumpykat

TG: i finally touched down in houston, details will come later

TG: well im assuming youre off doing something with tz or egderp

TG: ill check back later

TG: i love you kitkat

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 18:15 --

CG: DAVE?

CG: FUCK. I'M SORRY.

CG: ARE YOU STILL THERE?

CG: I'M GLAD YOU HAD A SAFE FLIGHT AND I LOVE YOU TOO, DAVE.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:29 --

Minutes pass as you waited with tears falling down your face, where they then pooled on the piano keys. He was gone yet again and if you hadn't been fucking around with your piano, you probably would have been able to have a small conversation with him. No matter how draining the conversations were for you afterwards when he inevitably had to leave again, they were always worth it.

You set your phone down again and took a deep breath as you stare down at the piano keys, pressing a few experimentally. The melodic tone sent shivers through your body and you imagined Dave sitting beside you, fucking up your small song with shitty raps as a huge shit-eating grin lit up his face. It seemed like the type of the thing he would do, and after you inevitably chewed him out for it, he would kiss you and kiss you until you eventually forgave his asshole tendencies. It wasn't hard to forgive Dave, you could never even find it in you to really be angry with him.

You close your eyes as you pictured a favorite memory of yours.

Dave had been baking all day for your birthday and he had actually put effort into producing a cake that fell a little flat of actually deserving the name of the word ‘cake’, but you didn't tell him this. You just wiped the flour from his nose and smiled at the complete mess that was your boyfriend. He had flour in his hair, egg yolk on his hands, batter on his shitty broken record shirt, and he had icing on his cheek. You're not sure how he could've possibly fucked up this badly and you looked down at the cake. It was burnt in a few places and the icing was messy. Cake bits littered around where he had spread the icing too hard and you smiled as you looked back at him.

‘How long did this take you, Strider?’

The shit-eating grin that he gave you produced butterflies in your stomach and you swallowed hard.

‘I burnt the first three cakes, so I'd say about... three hours? Maybe four?’

You wrapped your arms around him, not caring about the batter that got on you, ‘Is that so? I'm glad you didn't end up asking Jane to help you. It means more that you went through the hassle of this by yourself.’ He admitted.

Dave wrapped his own arms around you gently and he buried his face into your hair, ‘I'd do anything to bring that smile to your face and I was going to present it to you all romantic-like but you came home a little too early.’ He teased you softly.

‘You're a dork, Strider.’ You mumble into his chest affectionately.

‘Yeah, but I'm your dork.’ He kissed your head as he gently used your shirt to clean his hands off. Asshole.

The memory dissipated as you opened your eyes. You swallowed back your tears as your fingers flew over the keys fast. You didn't even know what you were playing anymore, but the melody made your insides ache along to it and your eyes smarted again.

Later that night, only when your fingers and back grew stiff from your constant playing, did you finally stop and you closed the piano lid slowly. It was tempting to play through the pain, but Dave's disappointed face flashed through your mind and you decided against this as you stood up on wobbly legs. You hadn't tried to move much for hours and the sudden movement made your head swim from disorientation and you steadied yourself against the piano before grabbing your phone and making a beeline to your bedroom.

You crashed hard as soon as you grabbed one of Dave's dirty shirts from the hamper and laid it on his pillow, which you had taken the liberty of sleeping with as of late. It was unsanitary but if anyone brought it up, you'd tell them to go fuck themselves.

  
_March 11th, 2017_  
_11:00am_

Waking was the worst part of the day. You could almost pretend that Dave's warm body was pressed up against you but once you opened your eyes, the small smile that had started on your lips faded away. Another day, another empty bed.

You dragged yourself through the motions of your daily ritual only for Dave's sake. You brush your teeth, shower, and dress in one of Dave's ridiculous shirts that you both had bought on your trip to Disneyland two years before you even got together. It brought back memories and it was one of the last times that all of your friends had gotten together before you all went your separate ways across the globe. You recall all of the shitty rides that the bastard had convinced you to get on with him and you smile as a warmth filled your body.

It was short-lived as the silence of the house descended upon you and you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath before grabbing your keys and abruptly leaving the house. You needed some fresh air to clear your head.

_3:45pm_

You watch as the small, orange kitten explored its new home and you sit down on the hardwood floor as you set up the carrier. You didn't let the small baby out of your sight for even a second, who knows what the demon child would get up to.  
Honestly, you don't really know how to explain yourself other than the fact that you had gotten pretty lonely and as the kitten waddled up to you, you can't help but to think that you made the right choice

  
_3:57pm_

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:57 --

CG: SO.

CG: I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY BUSY WITH DIRECTING AND OTHER THINGS THAT I DON'T REALLY KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT BUT I WENT OUTSIDE TODAY. ASTONISHING, I KNOW.

CG: ANYWAYS, WE NOW HAVE A KITTEN.

CG: SO, YEAH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO NAME THE GUY YET BUT WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT WHEN YOU GET BACK.

CG: IN THE MEANTIME, HERE'S A PICTURE TO SATIATE YOUR CURIOSITY THAT I'M SURE YOU'RE EXPERIENCING BY NOW.

CG: http://tinyurl.com/OrangeBallOfEvil

CG: WELL, I GUESS I'LL LEAVE YOU TO DO WHATEVER IT IS DIRECTORS DO OTHER THAN DIRECT SHITTY MOVIES THAT HAVE NO REAL PLOT.

CG: I LOVE YOU, DAVE

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:03 --

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 19:08 --

TG: fuck

TG: im here

TG: that's gay

TG: getting a kitten

TG: especially a ginger kitten

TG: if i come back and you have no soul, im blaming that little fuzzball

TG: hell, the small demon probably will take over everything

TG: come home, catch you in bed with that kitten

TG: therell be a maury episode dedicated to it

TG: ‘gay troll caught cheating on director boyfriend with kitten’

TG: itll be between dr phil breaking up yet another mother/daughter fight and maury telling three different men that the chick they slept with had a baby and one of them is a daddy

TG: i mean

TG: i know you wouldn't cheat on me with a kitty kitty, but like

TG: man idk

TG: tbh im done directing for the day, so ill just sit around and wait to talk to you

TG: unless i can talk to the gay karkalicious troll

TG: speaking of which, are you two present?

TG: i swear, its like youre barry and other barry

TG: get it?

CG: OKAY. LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE BEFORE YOU EVEN BEGIN COMPARING ME TO A CYBORG.

CG: AND BEASTILIATY?

TG: OH PRAISE THE LAWRD HE ALIVE

TG: and i couldnt help myself

TG: bad, tasteless jokes are my thing

TG: i missed you, gorgeous

CG: WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING THAT I MISSED YOU AND YOUR MUG TOO.

TG: i would hope that you missed me

TG: so, hey

TG: barry

TG: and other barry

TG: its me

TG: your sexy katya with the removable robo vagina

CG: YOU'RE NOT EVEN RUSSIAN, DAVE.

TG: cant a man dream

TG: besides

TG: its been awhile since ive been in a russian

TG: my sexy, cherry flavored russian

CG: OH MY GOD.

CG: THAT BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER SUBJECT THAT WE SHOULD DISCUSS RIGHT AWAY.

CG:

CG: I MIGHT BE PREGNANT.

TG: youre what

TG: YOURE WHAT

TG: Y O U

TG: W H A T

CG: I'M PREGNANT, OKAY?

TG: i

TG: oh god

TG: oh fuck

TG: oh jesus fucking christ in a minivan full of kfc chicken

CG: DAVE?

TG: oh my living cock

TG: oh shitting duck balloons

TG: youre pregnant

TG: you are pregnant

CG: YES, I AM PREGNANT AND SURPRISE, SURPRISE, IT'S YOURS, FUCKNUT.

TG: well, i would hope so

TG: cause im almost 800% positive youve only been fucking me

TG: and id be very ashamed of that small little panicky thing if i wasnt the father

TG: just be like

TG: oh fuck

TG: gimme a sec

CG:

CG: IT'S BEEN A SECOND. WHAT'RE WE GOING TO DO? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT HUMANS AND TROLLS COULD REPRODUCE TOGETHER.

TG: i just googled it

TG: yeah, they can, however, its usually trolls getting humans pregnant

TG: not the other way around

TG: um, idk what were gonna do

TG: you should schedule a doctors appointment, see how far along you are and if everything is good so far though

CG: DAVE, I REALLY WISH YOU WERE HERE. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RAISING GRUBS.

TG: ill have to talk to my coworkers and everything, but im getting a plane ticket for this weekend

TG: i am not letting you be alone during this

CG: YOU'RE COMING HOME?

TG: yes, im coming home

TG: what else would i be doing, joining the kkk and shaving my head to rename myself alec baldwin

CG: DAVE, OH MY GOD.

CG: WELL, NOW THAT THE WOULD BE ROMANTIC MOMENT IS RUINED BECAUSE OF *SOMEONE* IT'S GETTING KIND OF LATE AND I'M HUNGRY. I SHOULD GET OFF AND MAKE SOMETHING. UNLESS, YOU WANT TO CALL ME?

TG: ill call you

TG: cant wait to hear your voice

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 19:34 --

After closing the app, a genuine smile graced your lips and you walked off to the kitchen as you waited for his call. Soon, ‘What's New Pussycat’ rang out through the kitchen and you answered your phone right away. You're not really sure when that song had become Dave's ring tone but you weren't in the mood to change it.

“Dave?” Your voice came out gruff from disuse and you cleared your throat before trying again. “Dave?”

“BWAH, BWAH, WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT!?!” Dave's voice had never been more pleasing to hear, nor had it ever been as dorky. He let out a small chuckle. “Hey, Karkat.” He spoke normally this time, and it was as if every and all boners united and made a heavenly choir.

“So, you're the asshole who changed your own ring tone to something so annoying that I'm pretty sure it just gave our grub brain damage.” You drawled out slowly in an annoyed tone.

“Well, first of all, our unborn child is becoming educated, and besides that, it probably can't hear yet. Maybe. I don't know. But, you should set up an appointment to see a doctor. Unless you rather wait until I get there so that I can come with you.” There was the sound of bedsprings squeaking, and it was clear to you that Dave was currently in bed.

You pause as you let this information sink in and you put a pizza in the oven, “David Elisabeth Strider, I swear to God if you're masturbating while talking to me, then I'll… Well, I don't really know what I'd do but we’re supposed to be talking about important things and if I know you half as well as I think I do, I know you're probably getting off to my voice and picturing me naked.” You frowned as you sat down at the kitchen table.

“Well, I'm picturing you naked now, since you brought it up.”

“You're impossible.” You huffed softly as you made yourself comfortable. “And I have an appointment scheduled on Monday.”

“I'm not even masturbating, you're safe.” He chuckled.

Your stomach lurched and you groaned quietly as your eyes darted to the shitty R2D2 trash can that sat innocently beside the table, “Shut the… fuck up.” You pulled the trash can close and there went your breakfast.

“Karkat?! Karkat, are you okay!?! Babe?!” Dave sounded pretty concerned, and so very much heard you lose your breakfast.

You sent a small glare towards your phone and your stomach lurched again, this time you only dry-heaved and you groaned. The acrid taste in your mouth was overwhelming and you just really wanted it to stop.

“Karkat, when you're able to, get some water and lay down, okay? I'll be flying in in about two or three days, so you won't have to be alone for very long.” Dave's voice was riddled with concern and worry, he usually babied you when you were sick, and it probably killed him to not be able to be there to take care of you.

You cleaned yourself up after the dry heaving finally stopped and then you laid down on the cool linoleum. It felt nice on your hot cheeks. “Are you going to hang up on me now?” You asked in a voice that was rougher than usual.

“No, I'm not going to hang up on you. Honestly, I'm half-tempted see if you would be willing to Skype call so that I can make sure you're okay.”

You snorted a little, “You worry too much, Strider.” You pulled your device away from your ear and you hit the video option anyways. Soon, you were staring at your pasty grey face and you made a face at the camera.

“What a sexy face you got there.” Dave joked, turning his video on. Sure enough, he was in bed, wearing clothes for once. Dave was never known to wear more than a pair of boxers to bed. But here he was, with a shirt on, in bed, with messy hair and that dorky smile of his. It made your heart pound heavily in your chest.

“I missed you.” You finally whisper and you wiped at your eyes when tears threatened to fall down.

“I missed you, too.” He whispered back, moving to lay down. “I'll be there soon, Karkat, you don't have to miss me for much longer.”

“Lalonde and Egbert are going to have to fight me for your attention when you get back. I don't care that she released another wizard book and I don't care that Egbert finally met Nicolas Cage and realized that, hey, he's a shitty actor and he wasted years of his life admiring the man. I just want you to pay attention to me for at least a day before you eventually go back around and talk to your friends. I just want a day with you.” You whispered.

“Honestly, the only other person you'll have to fight for for my attention will have to be our unborn child, and I'll be with you for at least four days before I catch up with friends. You're what matters most to me.” He whispered back.

You shifted on the floor uncomfortably and sigh, “I feel like a dictator. If you really want to spend your first few days back with your friends, it's okay. I just want some time too.” You gazed at Dave's face gently.

“You're not a dictator, babe. I'm wanting to spend time with you because it's what I want. I missed you, and I'm going to spend time with you.” He smiled softly at him. “I'm going to spend time with the both of you, and we're going to discuss what we'll be doing.”

“Okay, Strider. That sounds agreeable.” You ran your thumb over his face gently and sigh again. “When will you have to go back?”

“Not sure, I'll have to discuss it with some people, producers and such. Might be two months, might be longer. I'm just going to say that it's-”

“I want to go with you when you have to go back.” You interrupted. “I know you won't have a lot of time for me but I'll feel better if we can at least share a bed together.”

He swallowed hard, “Really? You'll come back with me?” His voice was filled with relief, and his eyes were starting to glisten.

“Yes, really, you asshole. Why wouldn't I want to be with you?” You huffed as an orange kitten climbed onto your chest and pawed at the screen. “Brave Sir Robin would like to come with us too.”

“Brave Sir Robin can come with us, and he'll share a bed with us if you don't mind.” He gave you a small smile. “But, you've never offered to come with me, and besides that, I've always been worried about your job.”

Guilt blossomed in the center of your chest and you looked away from the screen, “I just… The Hollywood scene may be for some people but I don't really like the idea of having your assistants flock all over me and besides, I'd feel more like a bed warmer than anything.” You worry your lip as you think about LA. “But, I suppose I could find something to do while you're busy directing people around.”

“Karkat, you won't be a bed warmer, and I could make sure my assistants don't flock you.” He whispered softly.

“Okay.” A small smile stirred at your lips and you looked back at him, “I may have gotten fired a week ago from my job.”

“And there's my classy Kitten that I know and love.” He gave a loving look. “I'll stay long enough to join you at your appointment and have catch up time with you, and some friends, then we'll come back here together “

You roll your eyes at your boyfriend and you sat up a little, “Yeah, okay. And for the record, I only got fired because they found out that I had mafia connections.” A thought occurred to you and you frowned. “What if the media find out about me and my… family? Won't it ruin your image?”

“First of all, if the media started digging into your shit to try and ruin my image, they've got another thing coming. Besides, I've got mafia connections as well, and it's not just from you, so if anything, I'd rather my own image get tainted by my own hand than some TMZ intern trying to throw dirt at you.”

You purse your lips and you take your pizza out of the oven and you flipped the camera to show him it, “Jealous, Strider?” You smirked a little.

“Yes, because I have Chinese food and I miss having you cook for me and babying me because of my lack of kitchen skills.” He said sarcastically, smiling lovingly at him.

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” You cut your pizza up and then sat down at the table with it. “Are you sure you can't fly back earlier?”

“I can try and fly after shooting tomorrow, but I'll end up there pretty late at night. You'd probably be asleep when I get home.”

“I'll leave the door unlocked for you.” You assure him.

“Thank you.” He smiled softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which two tired writers wrote this at one in the morning and it probably sucks because they didn't proofread but hey, here it is


	2. Chapter 2

_March 13th, 2017_  
_03:42am_

In the midst of a dream about toxic jelly beans, you stirred awake and you blinked wearily at the bright alarm clock that rested near your bed. You had half the mind to throw it and its bright ass across the room, but the sound of wood creaking stopped you. You held your breath as you strain your ears for another sound.

There it was again. It was yet another sound of wood creaking, which was quickly followed by the sound of something being knocked over.

You lurch up in bed and you grab one of Dave's shitty swords before getting up and going to investigate. It was very dark, and with the sounds being slow and steady, they were going towards the bedroom. They were all coming from downstairs. However, they were nearing the stairs.

You toed quietly to where the stairs were and you pressed your back flush against the nearest wall as you waited for the intruder.

Soon enough, the sounds were coming up the stairs. It got up towards the top and stopped. That's when a familiar voice rang through the darkness.

“Karkat?” The voice whispered softly. Its familiarity showed that it was Dave, who had just gotten home.

You drop the sword and you turn to face the stairs in surprise, “Dave?”

Dave moved, hugging you gently. “Yes, it's me.” He whispered, feeling around behind you before turning the hallway light on. He still had messy hair, and his shades were on, but he had a real and warm smile on his face. All just for you.

An ache formed in your chest, he was still as radiant as ever and you could bet that you looked like shit from having just woken up, but you pull him down and you mash your lips to his hungrily anyways. You had missed the warm feel of his lips moving against yours, you were desperate for any kind of affection from the man. You weren't sure if this was because of you or your hormones from the pregnancy, even though you don't think that they'd affect you so suddenly, but it could explain why you were so upset with his leaving.

Dave didn't pull away until you were both in high need of air and you were pretty thankful for this as you watched him take his shades off to reveal the pretty ruby red eyes of his.

You took his shades from him gently and put them in the pocket of your crab-patterned pajamas before giving him a sleepy smile, “I thought you were an intruder, Strider.” You admit freely.

“The only intruding I did was me intruding into your heart.” He whispered, kissing you sweetly before picking up his fallen swords. “Glad you were able to protect yourself from the forces of gay.” He smirked, leading you back to your shared bedroom once the light was turned off.

“The only time I'll ever touch one of your shitty swords, Strider.” You warned softly. “And it wasn't even that useful in protecting me from your gay.”

It was clear that he was somewhat tired from his late flight and you took pity on him as he undressed into only his weird apple juice boxers. You weren't entirely sure where he had gotten them but you suspected Egbert had a hand in this.

While you were busy wondering about them, Dave had put the sword back and crawled into bed. “I know, but still, I rather you make sure to stay protected.” He reached for you, a small smile on his face.

“I'm pretty capable of protecting myself.” You remind him as you crawled into the bed and laid down in his arms.

“I know. I still want to make sure you're protected. You're not just protecting yourself now.” He whispered, his hand very slowly resting on your stomach.

The movement made you tense up since you had temporarily forgotten that you were pregnant and you looked up into Dave's eyes curiously, “Does that mean you think we should keep it?”

He was quiet, pulling you closer to him. “I don't want to force you to keep it if you don't want to, but I like the thought of having a baby with you.” He mumbled, gently rubbing your stomach subconsciously. “So… yeah. Yeah, that means I think that we should keep it.” He kissed your head lovingly. “We can talk about this in the morning, though, I don't want to force you to keep it if you rather not have a baby right now.”

You pull away just far enough for you to gaze into his crimson eyes, which almost seemed to glow in the dark, “Strider?” You start as you unwound one of his arms from around you and you took his hand, gazing at the milky white of his skin. Just the thought of your grub possibly being both human and troll made your head hurt. How does that even work? What would it even look like? “What if the grub is grossly disfigured? What if it comes out looking like a spawn from hell?” You sigh quietly. “The media would have a field day if they found out we’re the parents of the next antichrist.”

Dave let out a snort, doing his best not to laugh. “Karkat, our baby won't be grossly disfigured. For one, you're the one having it, so it's already got hot genes, then there's my genes, and from what you've gone on and on about, I seem to be the sexiest person alive.” He kissed your face lovingly, smiling at you in the dark. “The only field day the media will have is them wondering how we produced a god.”

You rolled your eyes at the ball of marshmallow fluff that was your boyfriend and gazed up at the ceiling with another sigh, “What happens if we decide later on that we don't want the grub? We’re not even married, what if we break up?” Your eyes flickered back to Dave's face and you gently ran your thumb over his lips gently. They were smooth and you wondered briefly if he had been using chapstick again. “I don't want the grub to have to deal with growing up in a broken home.”

“We're not going to break up, Karkat.” He spoke urgently, holding you close to him. “If we decide we don't want the grub… then we can see if one of our friends can raise it, but I'm fairly certain that we'll raise it together. It'll have a perfectly stable home, even if we're not married. We'll get there eventually.”

As he spoke, you rested your head on his chest and listened to his heart beat with a frown. Yours didn't beat half as slow as his did and on most days, it caused you some worries but now, it was more comforting to hear how calm he was about this new predicament, “I think I'd like to keep this grub. We’re more than financially stable enough to take care of it and even though you're busy half the time with filming, I'll be able to take care of it since I just write music for John’s shitty band.” You mused softly.

He listened quietly, stroking your hair. “I don't want you to have to raise the grub on your own. I can try and get out of some filming to stay home and help.” He yawned, moving and holding you close as he pulled the blanket over the two of you and you pulled the blanket until it was up to your neck.

“So, we’re in agreement then? We’re making this happen? We’re having a grub together?” You kiss the hollow of his throat and shifted to meet his eyes again.

“We're having a grub together.” He smiled, stroking your hair as his eyes looked into yours lovingly.

You relaxed into him for only thirty seconds before you shot up and grabbed your device off of the bedside table. You had a memo to open.

carcinoGeneticist [CG]  opened memo on board DIPSHIT AND THE DIRECTOR: gay edition bc kitkat cant be straight if his life depended on it 

CG: SO, I GUESS THIS AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY TO OPEN THIS GODFORSAKEN MEMO AND STRIDER, I DON'T RECALL GIVING YOU PERMISSION TO NAME IT. 

turntechGodhead [TG] responded to the memo -- 

TG: lmao  
TG: barry and other barry are mad  
CG: THIS AGAIN? I THOUGHT WE WENT OVER THIS ALREADY. I AM IN NO WAY A CYBORG.  
TG: you are in bed, robo-vagina  
CG: I DON'T EVEN HAVE A VAGINA. IT'S CALLED A NOOK, DAVE.  
TG: tomato, potato  
CG: THOSE THINGS ARE *COMPLETELY* DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER.  
TG: unlike a vagina and a nook, which, anatomically, are the same thing

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] responded to the memo -- 

EB: hey guys!  
EB: oh, uh.  
EB: what did i walk in on?  
TG: everything, john  
TG: everything  
CG: YOU'VE NEVER EVEN SET ONE FOOT CLOSE TO A VAGINA, DAVID. THEY ARE VERY DIFFERENT.  
CG: FOR EXAMPLE, A NOOK IS SMALLER THAN A VAGINA AND I DON'T GROW HAIR ALL OVER IT.  
TG: they look very similar  
TG: your bulge is practically a very large, tentacle-shaped clitoris  
EB: oh wow.  
EB: i think i should just go.  
CG: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID, STRIDER. PEOPLE ARE LEAVING BEFORE WE CAN EVEN MAKE A PROPER ANNOUNCEMENT.

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] responded to the memo -- 

AG: Hahahahahahahaha!  
AG: God, you two are still hilarious.  
TG: oh fuck  
AG: Anyways, I'm here for the announcement.  
AG: Joooooooohn, is that you????????  
EB: vriska?  
EB: how have you been doing?  
EB: did you get that autograph i sent you?  
AG: Yes, I did. I love it, thank you.  
TG: KARKAT THEYRE INFECTING THIS WITH THEIR FANGIRLING HELP  
CG: FUCK. OKAY, YOU TWO NEED TO STOP. I THOUGHT I WAS BAD WITH MY TROLL WILL SMITH OBSESSION.  
CG: WHEN ARE YOU TWO GOING TO GET OUT AND WATCH ACTUAL MOVIES THAT DON'T SUCK?

\-- timeausTestified [TT] replied to the memo -- 

TT: Did someone say they want Dirk Strider to suck their dick?  
CG: OH MY GOD.  
TT: Anyways, I heard there was an announcement, and I'm here to see what this all unfolds to.  
T: Do I need to sit down for it?  
CG: WELL. THERE IS A PRETTY HIGH POSSIBILITY THAT DAVE IS LOOKING AT DEVICES THAT ARE BASICALLY LIKE PRISON CELLS THAT GRUBS SLEEP IN AT NIGHT AND REALLY AT ANY TIME BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK. WHEN DON'T THEY SLEEP?  
TT: Ah.  
TT: Didn't know Dave had a thing for fatherhood.  
TT: Mazel Tov.  
CG: EVEN YOUR BROTHER IS IMPOSSIBLE, DAVE. YOU CAN HANDLE THIS FROM HERE.  
TG: how, you pretty much just told everyone that were baby planning, its obvious that you have a grub growing in you  
EB: wait.  
EB: you guys are going to have a baby?  
EB: won't it be like… deformed or something?

CG banned EB from responding to the memo. 

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] responded to the memo --

TG: omg

 

TG: davey and kitty are having a baby

TT: Yes, Roxy, they're having a baby.

TG: awe, thats so cute

 

TG: have you seen pics of human/troll babies???

CG: SEND THEM NOW. SO THAT EGBERT DOESN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT HIS GODSON OR GODDAUGHTER WILL BE DEFORMED.

TG: http://tinyurl.com/TrollHumanBabies

 

TG: http://tinyurl.com/TrollHumanBabyInSunhat

 

TG: http://tinyurl.com/TrollHumanBabyAfterBirth

 

TG: http://tinyurl.com/MartiniGlassWithAKittenInIt

 

TG: oops, wrong pic

CG: THAT'S NOT EVEN A BABY AT ALL. WE DID ALSO ADOPT A KITTEN THOUGH.  
CG: HE IS ACCURATELY NAMED BRAVE SIR ROBIN.

TG: awe that's so cute

TG: what are these precious baby pictures  
TG: what is  
TG: KARKAT HELP WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY EYES  
CG: THOSE ARE TEARS, DAVE. CALM THE FUCK DOWN.  
TG: WHY ARE THERE TEARS  
CG: IT'S THE PREGNANCY HORMONES. THEY MUST BE CONTAGIOUS.  
TT: Hahahaha, Dave caught hormones.

TG banned TT from responding to the memo. 

TG unbanned TT from responding to the memo. 

TG: sorry, that was immature on my part  
TT: Don't sweat it.  
CG: WELL, NOW THAT WE’VE GOTTEN THAT TAKEN CARE OF. DAVE AND I ARE MOVING TO LA TOGETHER SO THAT I CAN BE NEAR HIM WHILE HE WORKS ON DIRECTING HIS NEW MOVIE.  
TT: Have fun, don't get mugged, don't do drugs out of a prostitute's ass.  
TG: dirk what the hell  
TT: Just watching out for my baby brother.

carcinoGeneticist [CG]  closed memo on board DIPSHIT AND THE DIRECTOR: gay edition bc kitkat cant be straight if his life depended on it 

You set your device down and sigh as you moved back into Dave's arms, “Your family are all creeps. Except for Roxy. Roxy is okay.” You mumble.

“Roxy is nice, she's also fun to hang out with. She's also no longer drinking, so that's even better.” Dave whispered, holding you close as he yawned, cuddling close. “Hey, baby?”

“Yeah, Dave?” You yawn yourself and close your tired eyes. It had been a long day and you were exhausted.

  
“Tomorrow, do you think we could think of names?” He asked, cuddling closer to you as he fell asleep, not even waiting for you to answer. You kissed his head gently and fell asleep beside him.

  
_March 13th, 2017_  
_07:29am_

After a long, restful night of sleep, you made breakfast for Dave and yourself. It ended up being bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns. As you waited for the elusive blond, you dunk your bacon into your decaffeinated coffee and read the newspaper tiredly as you ate.

Dave soon made his glorious presence known by hugging you from behind, looking at your mug. “That's decaf, right?” He mumbled sleepily, nuzzling you with a soft hum.

“Of fucking course it is.” You reply crankily. “I wouldn't cause any potential harm to our grub. What do you take me for, Strider?” You pass him a cup of caffeinated coffee with a grumble.

He took it, starting to drink it. “Wasn't saying you would harm-” He started coughing. “What the HELL is in this?!”

A smirk slowly stole across your lips, “Oh that? Well, I thought you liked hot and spicy things?” You asked innocently.

He looked at you, his face was turning red. “How much hot sauce did you put in this?” He asked.

“Just a few drops.” You shrug.

“Just checking.” He took his mug, drinking his coffee once again.

You stopped what you were doing and you had to just stare at your boyfriend for a few long moments, wondering what the fuck was going through his mind. “You don't have to drink it, Dave.”

“Maybe I don't, but I don't know if I'll get anymore caffeine after this.”

A frown crossed your face and you gently took the coffee cup from his hands before replacing it with your own, “You don't have to stop drinking caffeine because of me, Dave.” You pour out his mug and set it in the sink.

“Well, I don't want you to end up making some coffee that's caffeinated by accident, I'm worried about the two of you.” He whispered, drinking from the mug slowly.

“Well, I was thinking about maybe calling it quits on coffee for a little while anyways.” You gently push back a few strands of his hair. “If you stop drinking caffeine, you're going to be a zombie whenever you have to go to work.”

  
He moved, laying his head against you gently and you cradle him close for a little while, “What about Camille for a girl?” You decided to change the subject.

  
“Camille?” He asked, glancing at you. “It's pretty.

“Or maybe Marlene.” You shrug.

He thought for a long moment. “Marlene. I like that.” He whispered.

“What should we do for a boy?” You gently took his hands and placed them on your hips before resting your own on his shoulders as you swayed around the kitchen with him.

“Either Regulus or Jace, both seem like good names.” He held you close, resting his head on yours. You roll your eyes a tiny bit, “Jace, huh? What if the kid turns out to be afraid of ducks because we gave him that name?”

“Well, it could be worse, his best friend could be gay for him then end up going for an Indonesian with a glitter obsession who owns a cat named Chairman Meow.” He joked.

“Well, I like Jace.” You mused. “Jace or Marlene Strider-Vantas it is.”

“We've got baby names.” He whispered softly, kissing you. You kissed him back and in that moment, you felt like nothing could go wrong.


	3. Three Months

_April 13th, 2017_

_02:41 p.m._

 

KARKAT ==> Be Dave

 

You are now Dave Strider, however, you don't recall ever not being Dave. Either way, you're Dave, and currently, you were in the studio and holding Karkat close to you with your arm around his shoulders as you fumbled around on your cell phone with your free hand. The troll had come by for lunch since you had forgotten to pack yours and you were in an argument with your lead actress. Luckily for you, Karkat had a way about him that made calming you down easy for him, which also turned out to be good for your career. Heaven forbid the public get a boner over hearing about you and a celebrity brawling on set. 

You buried your face into Karkat's neck, mumbling to him yet another thank you for coming to your aid. Directing isn't as easy as people made it out to be, and without Karkat there to help you, you don't know what you would've done. 

“She wants a fucking chocolate fountain in her dressing room?” Karkat asked one of your assistants irritably, since they had shown up at some point on your orders. Then he turned back to you with a deep set scowl on his face. “That's stupid. She should be doing her job, not making yours more difficult than it already is. Maybe you should get a different lead actress, or at least threaten to.” 

“I've been thinking about it.” You admit freely as you gently pushed back a lock of his red hair from his forehead. “I might call up Calliope to see if she'll do it. She's been in a few of my movies, and she's not only fun to work with, but she's also a great actress.” You gazed at him worriedly and moved so that your head was fixed on his shoulder. “I mean, we haven't been able to shoot any good scenes with our current actress always bitching and leaving.” 

“I think you should try to relax, Strider. And isn't Calliope the one with the shitty older brother?” Karkat asked as he carefully maneuvered and pushed you into your expensive armchair, which was kind of a relief. It dulled the growing ache in your back. “Stressing isn't good for your health, babe.” 

One of your assistant’s stepped forward, it was one that had been with you since your first time directing. If you remember correctly, his wife had just had a baby and you mailed him a fruit basket in congratulations and you wonder briefly if he had ate it all yet. “Mr. Strider? Should we inform Miss Clearwater that we will no longer be requiring her services anymore?” Monty asked. 

“Yes, please do, and can you please call Calliope and ask her to meet me here tomorrow at 6:15pm sharp?” You rubbed your head, looking at your pregnant boyfriend. “Also, you're thinking of Caliborn. Calliope is his sister, and she's also the girl that Roxy's been trying to work up the courage to ask out for the past month and a half.” You lay your head on the arm of your armchair, reaching for him. “I wanna cuddle.”

“You always want to cuddle.” Karkat teased you half-heartedly as he slowly sat down on your lap and pulled you so that your head was back in his neck. You smiled softly, kissing his neck as you breathed in the scent of his strawberry body wash. 

“That's because you're fun to cuddle with.” You whisper as you moved your hand down to slowly rub at his stomach. “When's your next appointment? I could try and get time off to join you.” 

“Well, I'm getting an ultrasound next week. Nothing major, just a few pictures of our grub, if they can even get the wand past my thick skin.” He frowned visibly at the thought and you gently threaded your fingers through his hair to comfort him. Sure enough, his eyes became heavily lidded and he leaned into your hand gratefully. 

“I want to go in with you in case we're able to see our grub.” You whispered, pressing your soft lips to his forehead. Your fingers kept threading through his locks, feeling their softness. Even for a troll, Karkat's hair was unnaturally soft, and it was something you loved. 

“I want you to come too.” He admitted as he kissed the tip of your nose. It was an affectionate gesture that Karkat had seen in a human movie and he didn't seem to want to stop doing it even after the odd looks that some gave the two of you. To you, it was endearing and you smiled as you rub the scruff of your stubble under his chin. 

“I'll come, I promise.” You whispered and you kissed his neck in just the right spot. 

Almost immediately, a soft purr started up in his chest and you watched as his eyes fluttered shut slowly, “Dave…” He whispered hoarsely as he gripped onto your blazer, this kind of made you worry because of his claws but you decided not to say anything. You could always get new ones. 

“Yes, Karkat?” You glanced down at him as your brows furrowed together in confusion. He was rarely ever like this and it made you worry about him a bit. You pulled the smaller male closer to you and you worried your lower lip as you watched him. 

Karkat opened his eyes again and he looked at you with molten hot eyes, “I want you so badly.” He whispered. 

You felt your dick twitch in your pants at his words and your face heated up, making you wonder if it was actually his eyes heating your face and not the immediate fluster you were feeling. You swallowed, noting that your mouth felt dry, “You want me?” You heard yourself whisper back, moving to gaze at Karkat more easily. 

Karkat nodded and he shifted close enough for you to feel his own squirming bulge. You got up quickly, taking his arm before dragging him across the lot to your trailer, doing your best to keep your uprising arousal at bay.

 

* * *

 

 

Once you two were in there, you shut the door and pressed Karkat against it, your lips locking hungrily in a tangle of teeth and lust. You moved to get his pants off, taking a quick note to see that he hadn't bothered to put on underwear today. 

A moan erupts from him as your fingers find their way into his nook, moving to stretch him as you used one hand to remove your own pants. This was the neediest sex you two will ever participate in. 

Your lips move from Karkat's mouth and to his neck, kissing and gently biting as you removed your fingers, red and sticky with his arousal, soon pressing your now-erect arousal into him, thrusting fervently. 

Within a matter of minutes, you two were a panting and moaning mess, the scent of sweat was slowly filling the trailer as Karkat clawed your blazer off. You pulled his shirt off him as well, pressing him harder against the door with each thrust, causing the door to gently rock against its hinges.

With a loud moan, he reached between the two of you, pumping his bulge quickly. He was feverish sputtering out a series of curses mixed with your name. Not your typical ‘Strider’, either. 

You hit his g-spot, which from your Google searches was called a ‘seed-flap’, whatever the hell that meant, and it was all over. Karkat came, his cum spilling from your stomach just below your pectorals down to your mid-thighs. His nook tightened reflexively, pushing you to the edge with him. You held him close as you both rode out your separate climaxes.

 

* * *

 

 

Afterwards, you pulled him close, sliding onto the floor in a sweaty and filthy mess. It looked there had been murder, what with the red gunk on the floors and wall. You gave a breathy chuckle as you listened to the sound of your mixed pants. 

A gentle, loving expression crossed your face as your heart pounded away in your chest and you gazed at him with a smile, “Hey.” You finally whisper as you moved your clean hand to stroke his hair and the other, well, you smeared some of his cum on his forehead with a wicked grin. “Ah, svenya.” 

Karkat groaned softly and he shifted away from your thumb, scrunching his nose up at you. You thought it was the cutest thing ever and it warmed your heart. “Strider, s’gross.” He mumbled sleepily and you held him closer to you, if that were even possible. 

“You secretly like it.” You whispered back, kissing him before using your clean hand to remove your shades. You tucked them under the remains of your shirt. 

“Oh, yes.” He agreed with a deep rumble in his chest. “I sure do love having my cum smeared on my forehead. I'm not fucking Simba and this is not the Lion King.” 

“But can you feel the love tonight?” Your eyes glanced over him for a reaction and you moved to reach for a towel that you totally hadn't remembered mid-sexy times. 

The troll squinted his cherry red eyes at you and pushed your face away from him, which only made you grin widely, “The love? Are you talking about you sticking your dick in me?” He asked, huffing. 

A gasp left you playfully. “Karkat! The baby might hear you!” You tried to move closer to him, gently laying the newly-retrieved towel on him. It would be his early birthday present. “Happy early Birthday, Karkat.” 

Karkat made a show of placing his hands over his flat stomach and he gave you a flippant look before looking down at himself, “Hey kid, your dad and I have hot, raunchy sex every day and he fucking cries every time he cums.” 

“I don't fucking cry every time I cum.” You snorted. 

“Okay, Barry and other Barry.” He flashed his pointy teeth at you in a victorious grin and you felt your dick stir in renewed interest. 

“Don't leave your vagina in the sink, Katya.” You whisper into his ear, smirking as you bit the lobe tenderly. 

“Oh my god.” You could tell that he was rolling his eyes at you by this point. “At least I don't have some MMORPG girl as my ‘wife’.” 

“Well, actually, she's his bride. Krieger and her never got married under the grounds of it not being legal. So he fucks all of his experiments, hence why Piggley and his crotch both were radioactive.” 

“Y’know, I actually never connected that.” He sighed softly as he finally picked up the towel and wiped his cum off his legs and nook, which was very so much like a vagina. Thank you very much. “I feel nauseous again.” He levelled you with a look. “Are you wearing a new body spray?” 

“No? Still the same body spray. Why do you ask?” 

“It's giving me a headache and I'm pretty sure that that's why I'm nauseous.” He huffed.

“I'll stop wearing it, then.” You mumbled. 

“Really?” He pursed his lips together a bit. “But isn't that your favorite kind?” 

“Yeah, it is, but you're my boyfriend and baby mama, and I want to make sure you feel better. If that means I switch body sprays for awhile, then I'll live.” 

He sighed quietly and slowly stood up, which gave you quite a good view of his vag-nook and you whistled softly. He gave you a quick glare in return and walked off towards the kitchen. 

“Hey, gorgeous, do you want your clothes back?” You called to him, getting up and wiping yourself off with the towel, doing your best to clean the floor and the trailer door before getting your pants and boxers on. You then picked up your shirt, wincing at how it was torn basically to shreds. You'd need a new shirt and you carried the remains as you sought Karkat out to tease him about it. 

When you found him, he was checking his shitty blackberry, he had refused your countless offers to upgrade it and his eyebrows were knit together in confusion as he read whatever message was left on it. 

“What are you looking at, clothes destroyer?” You glanced at his blackberry with a frown. One of these days, you're going to get him a brand new phone and he'll never see that damned blackberry again. 

Sadly, he didn't react at all to your joke, he just looked up at you with the smallest hint of a smile on his reddened lips, “Well, my mother and father’s visas finally got approved. They're going to stay with us for awhile until they find their own place, is that okay?” 

“Is that okay? Of course it's okay.” You scoff as you hugged him close and kissed his forehead with a smile before you looked at him. “Do they know that we're having a baby?” 

“Yeah, they were the first people that I told, besides you.” He murmured softly. “My uncle Jack might swing by too, depends on if he's busy with his 'crew’ or not.” 

“Isn't he the one with the gay- GANG! I meant gang!” You meant gay, you've heard him babble on and on about Jack and ‘Damarius’, who, at first you thought were close friends, but from Karkat's stories, Jack has a boner for him. 

He pulled away and frowned at you, “Dave, don't pick a fight with him. You know how he is, he has a few stabby issues.” He warned you quietly.

  
“I'll try not to fight him.” You mumble softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thief and I have our own head canons for the Midnight Crews' names and they are:
> 
> Jack Noir [code name: Spades Slick]  
> Damarius McDougall [code name: Diamonds Droog]  
> Harold Bergström [code name: Hearts Boxcar]  
> Christopher Deuceson [code name: Clubs Deuce ]
> 
> Karkat's parents' names will be:
> 
> Scott Vantas [Loosely based off Signless] and Annushka (Anya) Noir [Loosely based off Disciple]
> 
> Calliope and Caliborn will be trolls in this and yes, the Midnight Crew and Karkat's parents will also be trolls
> 
> Complaints can be taken directly to 'nobody gives a fuck-ville', it borders 'fuck off and just enjoy the story or leave-apolis'


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay! 
> 
> \- R

_April 18th, 2017_

_09:12am_

 

DAVE : Switch from second person to third person.

 

He didn't really know what the business of switching narratives was all about but he was down for whatever, that is, as long as he could catch a few more snoozes before being woken up by a dirty chili dog thief.

 

DAVE : Switch to the chili dog thief.

 

Karkat didn't know what he had expected for Dave to do in preparation for his parents moving in with them but this? This was not what he had expected at all.

Four beefy looking men were sitting around an elm coffee table in the parlor with a blue schematic unfolded on top of it. The schematic was weighted down with two nice crab statues that Dave had given him over a year ago as some kind of “ironic” gift. He hadn't cared for the bullshit reason Dave had given him at the time but he liked them anyways and cherished them.

One of the men made a flagrant gesture to the schematic and Karkat blinked as he looked down at the white scribbles on it. It looked like… That couldn't be right.

There was a craftsman-style house situated right next to his and Dave's very own Tudor-style home but Dave had bought a shit ton of acres and there wasn't another house within a mile of their home. He moved closer to the schematic and on the top in red lowercase letters read: scott and anyas house.

The words made him a bit queasy but he shoved it down. He trusted that Dave knew what he was doing, he just wasn't too sure what his parents would think upon seeing that a house had been built for them. Either way, he decided to stay out of it and made his way into the kitchen to find Dave's chili dog leftovers. He was hungry and he would be damned if he waited for his permission to eat it.

It took him two minutes to acquire the chili dog but once he did, his stomach grumbled and his mouth began to water but before he could even close the marble refrigerator door, a hand landed on his shoulder and he tensed up as he looked behind himself and into the tired red eyes of his compatriot. He had been caught red handed with Dave's chili dog. He figured that right about now that he would be royally fucked but instead of getting angry, the man just gave him a kiss and stole a bottle of apple juice from the fridge.

“You hungry, sweet mama?” He asked in a hoarse whisper as he gently ran his fingers through his hair.

Karkat greedily leaned into his boyfriend’s naked chest and he leeched off of his body heat, “A better question would be, when am I not hungry?”

“That's true, we haven't had any leftovers in the last few weeks.” Dave mused as he wrapped his arms around Karkat’s waist and hugged him close. “So, what's up?”

“Well, let's see here,” He started crankily after taking a bite of spicy goodness. “I was woken up at who the fuck knows o’clock because my insides decided that hey, it'll be a terrific idea to expel themselves into the nearest potted plant. Which, by the way, I already threw out. So don't make a face at me.” He warned. “And if that wasn't enough, I decided to make the trek downstairs and into our foyer to see that there's four strangers in it! Who the fuck even let them in, Strider!? It sure as fuck wasn't me and why the hell are you building my parents a house?”

Dave noticeably paled and he watched as the blond looked down at him. “I gave them a key so they could come in, but I told them to stay out of your way and not bother you.” A sigh left the taller male as his eyes slid shut. “As for the house, I thought it would be nice if they lived closer to you so you could see them whenever you'd like and not have to go so far away to see them.”

He bit down on his lower lip as he processed Dave's words. It didn't seem like he would have any nefarious reasons to do it, so it stood to reason that he was telling the truth. Not that he really doubted the blond for a minute, he knew he had his best interests at heart. “They're flying in today.” He reminded him as he skirted out of Dave's arms to make himself a cup of orange juice.

Dave nodded solemnly, watching Karkat make the juice before taking a long drink. “I know they are, and they'll still stay with us until their house is fully built.” The blond smiled at him as he stroked his hair. “When are we going to pick them up? I want us to be there when their plane lands.”

“If there are no delays, about four. That gives us enough time to go to my doctor's appointment, unless you have to go into work today?” Karkat couldn't help but to let a small measure of disdain enter his voice. It would be nice to have the blond there holding his hand as some stranger jabbed at him with a wand.

“Nope, entire day off, I'm going to the appointment with you.” Dave smiled, pulling him close to him, returning him to the warmth that was Dave's chest. He decidedly didn't mind this at all.

“Wow, really? Okay, great. That's… great.” He really did feel pretty enthusiastic about the whole thing but he was also very fucking tired.

“What time is your appointment, maybe we have time to cuddle together before we have to go?” Dave asked softly.

Honestly, the very idea made his heart swell but sadly, it was nearly ten already. “The appointment starts in thirty minutes, we barely have time for breakfast.” He pointed out gently.

“Damn…” He frowned, hugging him closer, if that were even possible. “I guess we should get dressed, come with me?” He took his hand, gently tangling their fingers together as he gave it a gentle squeeze.

Karkat squeezed Dave's hand back and he sighed heavily, “I suppose that I could indulge you in a strip-tease. That's what you're really looking forward to, isn't it?” He teased.

Dave smirked at Karkat. “Oh, definitely, I’d like to see your sexy loving body.”

He wrinkled his nose up at Dave and he pushed his face away a bit, “Oh, shut your mouth.” He grumbled. He had long since given up on refuting Dave's compliments since it was really just a can of worms that he didn't want to open. The can of worms being Dave's mouth.

“Never! I'll never shut my mouth!” Dave picked up Karkat, smirking him.

“You shut your mouth whenever it's around my bulge.” He glanced at Dave for a reaction as he raised a brow at him.

“Well, that's because if I open it, your cherry material will stain the bedding even worse than your nook, which is definitely a vagina, has.” He retorted as he set Karkat back down, already probably predicting what his next move would be.

“And just like that, this sexy conversation is over.” He huffed as he used his newfound freedom to abscond to their room.

 

* * *

 

 

It was ten minutes later that found them in Dave's shitty old pick-up truck and Karkat was drumming his fingers on the armrest nervously. In less than a hour, they could potentially be seeing their grub. What if it was deformed? Maybe Roxy's photos weren't real, maybe they were photoshopped. What if the baby was dead? What if-

“Worrying yourself into a tizzy isn't good for the baby.” Dave reminded him and he begrudgingly had to agree. It wasn't good at all for the baby and it wouldn't help either.

So, he took a deep breath and slowly exhaled as he watched the passing scenery, “What do you think the gender will be?” He asked in what he hoped was an optimistic tone but really, it came off shaky.

“Shit, man.” Dave glanced at him briefly before focusing on the road again. “I don't really care what the gender is, just as long as it's healthy.”

Karkat bit down on his lower lip, “And if the baby isn't healthy? If it has down syndrome or a cleft lip?”

“Then I'll still love it, Karkat. Either way, that's our baby and as soon as the kid is old enough, I'm going to teach him or her how to throw out sick fires.” A genuine grin spread over Dave's lips and he had half the mind to kiss him but that would be dangerous, so he just gently cupped Dave's face.

“I love you, Dave, but if our child starts throwing down ‘sick fires’ and talks about the irony of everything, I'll probably fucking cry.”

Dave chuckled softly and he reached over, squeezing Karkat's knee reassuringly.

* * *

 

Despite his prediction that it would only a hour to see his grub, it took a little more than two hours, which were spent with the ultrasound technician using different wands on him and pushing down on his stomach to try to get a hide or hair of the glob that was probably his grub. Honestly, he was starting to get frustrated. Nothing was working and the doctor was now watching the grainy screen as well with a calculating look in his eyes. It gave him the heebie jeebies.

“Wait!” The doctor ordered in a gruff voice and the technician paused as she peered into the screen confusedly.

“Is that…”

“Yes, it is.” He said softly before finally turning back to Dave and Karkat.

Karkat could feel Dave gripping his hand tightly and he returned the gesture as he waited for some kind of bad news to be delivered.

“Well, I think congratulations are in order. You have two very healthy-looking eggs.” The doctor smiled genuinely.

Dave didn't let go of his hand for even a minute, instead he brought it closer to his chest, “Eggs? What?”

Karkat had known there was a possibility that the grub could be born like a troll but he hadn't really wanted to bother Dave with the information and now, he sighed as he turned to Dave, “All troll babies are in eggs for at the least first six months and sometime between seven months and eight, the egg hatches and the grubs are either born via c-section or pushed out. It really depends on the size of their horns.” He explained.

Dave blinked once, twice, and then looked like he was going to be sick, “They hatch inside of you? What happens to all the egg shells and shit? Does it just float around or do you push it out?”

“The grubs absorb it. It's okay, Dave. It's not really that much different from a human pregnancy.” He reached over to gently cup Dave's face and he was glad when the blond leaned into the affectionate gesture.

“So, there's no way that you'll be hurt? You're not… you won't die?” He asked quietly.

Dave's reaction a few minutes ago suddenly made sense and he furrowed his brows as he pulled his boyfriend closer to him, “Strider, I'm not going to die. I'm not leaving you.” He told him plaintively.

Dave, in return, gave him a watery smile and he kissed him gently.

  
After the fiasco at the doctor’s office, Karkat had requested four sets of sonograms and he held the grainy images of the two small blobs tightly in his hands the entire ride home from the doctor's office. It had been his first time even seeing his grub- whoops, grubs. He was having twins apparently and he wasn't too sure how to feel about that just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, Anya and Scott, Karkat's parents, finally make an appearance and wowie, it's their first time meeting Dave face to face
> 
> What could possibly go wrong?


	5. Chapter 5

_April 18th, 2017_

_05:30_

 

Sadly, the flight had been delayed, much to Karkat's chagrin as he stood around waiting with his famous director boyfriend in the crowded airport. Why did he tack on famous to Dave's title? Well, it could have a lot to do with the fact that a horde of teenage girls and even some boys were surrounding both of them and asking for Dave to sign papers, pictures, and even their own body parts. It was fucking weird and he was actually starting to get aggravated by it.

When one of the girls, a brunette, bumped into him to try to get close enough to touch Dave and probably rip his shirt, it was the turning point and a low growl rumbled up from his chest. His stomach had been touched and anyone worth their dime knew better than to touch a pregnant troll, not that even one of these kids would know anything about his pregnancy. They had decided to keep that aspect on the down low, like any celebrity couple ever. He was even entertaining the idea of pulling a Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds by not revealing the gender nor the names of their grubs until Dave or he eventually fucked up and revealed it. He definitely didn’t want their grubs in the spotlight either, unless maybe if Dave were to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Then and only then, could he be convinced.

The brunette that had bumped into him locked eyes with him and he glared into the their honey brown depths, “I-I… I'm sorry.” She seemed like she was utterly terrified and he didn't blame her at all because the growling wasn't stopping anytime soon and he narrowed his eyes on her as he contemplated tearing her throat out with his bare teeth.

However, a hand landed on his shoulder for the second time that day, stopping him from acting on his aggressive thoughts and he turned around to bare his sharp teeth at the dumb ass but the warm, wine red eyes of his father stopped him dead and the sound stuttered slowly to a stop in his chest, “Pa?” He asked intelligently.

The troll gave him a soft smile and he ended up pulling him into a warm embrace and tears filled the older troll’s eyes. “Karkat.” He whispered out, stroking his hair as he gently cooed at him as if were still a wriggler.

Karkat's chest shuddered as emotion filled him and he hugged his father back tightly. It felt like he was home again and he buried his face into his chest, breathing in the scent of cherries happily, “How was your flight?” He asked when the hug had lasted long enough for him to pull away.

The short woman next to him snorted at his question and he immediately looked down into her bright olive eyes, “There was so much turbulence, I never want to go on an airplane again.” She huffed softly as she pulled him into her arms and kissed his forehead.

“I'm sorry, ma.” He frowned in slight distress. “But you're both fine?”

“Yes, malysh. We’re perfectly fine.” She cupped his face gently and he greedily leaned into it, he had missed this and her sorely. “Why don't you introduce us to your ‘boyfriend’?” He could hear the smirk in her voice and he groaned softly and let his head thunk on Scott's shoulder.

“I knew you two were going to ask about that. I just, I wanted a love like you and ta. A love that surpasses all the quadrants and I figured human love was the closest thing.” He explained as airport security finally broke up the crowd of teens surrounding Dave and once they all scattered, he led his parents straight to Dave since the teens had pushed them far away from the man while they had their tearful reunion.

Dave now just had on a tattered shirt and a loose tie, his pants were in perfect shape though. “Dave? Are you okay?” He took one of the blond’s hands and fixed his shades for him gently, they were slightly hanging off his nose.

“Yeah.” Dave hugged him tightly, squeezing his hand as he held him close and kissed his head.

“Alright, well, these are my parents.” He gestured to the couple behind him as he rested in the protective arms of his boyfriend.

“Hi, parents, it's nice to meet you both.” Dave waved to them, smiling like a complete dork. He would've kissed his smile but he decided not to, he wanted to ease his parents into their relationship slowly.

Anya stepped forward and took Dave's face into her small hands and tilted his head this way and that curiously, “Are you German, David?” Her voice had gone back to sounding like bells literally rung through it and Karkat's heart swelled as he heard her. Man, he really missed his parents, as non adultlike as that sounded.

“Um, yes, my family came from Berlin, actually.” He nodded. “How could you tell?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Scott frowning, and he was pulled back into his arms. He wasn't about to complain though, he knew Dave wouldn't judge him for reveling in some much needed parental affection.

“Just a guess.” Anya replied, her eyes twinkling with the vestiges of mischief. “Perhaps we should leave before more people converge on us?”

Karkat pulled himself out of Scott's arms and he sighed quietly, “Yeah, I doubt we’d be able to survive another horde of horny teenage girls.” He joked half-heartedly. “Dave, wanna lead the way?”

“Of course.” Dave took his hand, leading them all to the car.

 

* * *

 

 

Once they were home, Scott looked at the blue schematics that lay open on the table. “What are these?” He asked, soon looking out the window to notice the structure of a house frame a ways away and a frown filled his face. “A house?” He asked, venom seeping into his words.

Karkat kicked his shoes off and sighed as he started towards his father to dispel the meltdown that seemed unpreventable but Anya beat him there.

“I think building us a home nearby them is a good idea. We’ll be able to see Karkat whenever we want to at this rate, which, might I remind you was seeming more and more unlikely as we looked at the houses around this area.” She chastised. “Would you rather us live more than a hour away from our son and his family?”

He shook his head, laying his head on Anya's shoulder. “No, I want us to be close to Karkat.” He mumbled softly, looking at Dave with a small glare. “Anya, do you think we could talk in private?”

As the two trolls left down the hallway to talk, Karkat turned to his boyfriend and sure enough, Dave had apparently noticed the glare directed his way. He had sidled up close to his side and whispered into his ear. “I don't think your dad likes me.”

“Understatement of the year award goes to Dave Elisabeth Strider for uncanny observational skills.” He sighed as he rubbed at his head, a headache was forming and he leaned against Dave. “I don't know why he doesn't like you. It could just be that he's not used to you.”

Dave bit his lip, wrapping his arms around the troll close to him and he stroked his hair. “Do you think he's being overprotective of you?” He asked softly.

“Could be but I kind of felt like it was something a bit more than that. I don't know, let's just get dinner started. I already invited Jack over too. He said he has some business to finish but he’ll be here eventually.”

“Alright.” He smiled, taking Karkat's hand as he went to outside with him.

* * *

 

_April 18th, 2017_

_06:30_

 

KARKAT: Be Dave

 

Dinner consisted of hot dogs, steaks, burgers, and chips. It was the best fucking meal on the planet, and Dave was so proud of his and Karkat's creation.

Jack was running late, and Dave was a bit worried. He was Karkat's uncle, for God's sake.

Scott was spending this time eating and catching up with Karkat, he looked happy to see his son again.

Karkat had dragged out on an old chess board set and he placed it down in the middle of table. Instead of chess pieces though, he put checkers on the board and Anya and him seemed to really be into the game, “So, we went to the doctor's office today and I guess we’re having twins.” He gave Dave subtle glances every now and then and lingering smiles. “We don't know the genders yet, they haven't hatched yet.”

“Twins? That's quite exciting.” Scott chuckled, and just then, the front door burst open as a gruff voice shouted in.

“I'M HERE!”

Scott looked at Anya, raising an eyebrow. “Jack's making an entrance again.” He smirked.

Anya chuckled softly, “I suppose so.” She stood up from the table and left, going to collect the man.

Karkat glanced at Dave, “You remember what I said right? Don't piss him off.”

“I remember, and I will do everything I can not to piss him off.” Dave smiled.

The man walked in, a five o’clock shadow and an eye patch were the first noticeable things. Dave held out a hand for him.

“Hello, sir, I-” He became silent the second a gun was pulled on him. He swallowed, looking at Karkat. He was terrified.

“Jack!” Karkat hissed sharply as he stood up and placed his hand over Jack's. “That's my boyfriend that you're pointing that gun at.”

“Boyfriend?” He snarled, turning his face to Karkat. “I could've sworn he was an intruder.” He snapped to Dave, who was frozen in place.

Scott glared at Dave. “My suspicions were right.” He frowned, moving next to Jack.

“What the fuck is wrong with you two?!” Karkat snarled angrily as he stood in front of Dave, shielding him from the gun. “If you don't lower that gun in ten seconds, I swear to god, I'll make the bulge dildos that you like to play with look like child’s play by the time I'm done skewering you with that damn gun. Knowing you, you probably already fuck yourself with it.” A low threatening growl emanated from his chest, backing up his threat.

Jack lowered the gun slowly, a scowl tattooed onto his face. “He's never told you, has he?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Told me what?” He barked as he glared angrily at Jack. “How much of an asshole you're being right now? This was supposed to be a nice, friendly dinner, Jack.”

“Yeah, well I'm not having dinner with the Felt member that is the son of the woman who stabbed my goddamn eye out!” He growled, looking at Karkat.

Karkat didn't even flinch, he stood his ground, “You're right, you're going to have dinner with the disowned son of that woman and the father of my grubs, or is that too much for you, Jack?” He narrowed his eyes on the man. “And no, he didn't tell me shit. I figured it out myself and I don't fault him for his past, which he couldn't have helped or prevented by the way. Would you blame the children of nazis for the sins of their fathers?”

Jack listened to him, giving Karkat his gun. “I'm sorry.” He grumbled out, sitting down with a huff as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“I'm not the one you're going to apologize to.” He set the gun on the table and he nodded towards Dave.

Jack looked at Dave. “I'm sorry I pointed a gun to your face.” He frowned.

“You're forgiven, not the first time that's happened.” He sat down, pulling Karkat into his lap before nuzzling him gently. 

Karkat was still pretty worked up but he melted into Dave's arms like jelly, “You okay?” He asked as his cherry eyes searched his face for any kind of injury. It was kind of endearing how worried he had been and Dave wrapped his arms around him tighter.

He finally nodded, laying his head on Karkat's shoulder as he stroked his hair, kissing his neck gently. “I'm okay, even better now that you're in my arms.” He whispered softly.

  
“Dork.” The troll murmured.

“Yes, but I'm your dork.”


	6. Four Months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I don't really have a good excuse besides the fact that I had writer's block lmao
> 
> This is part one, part two will be released probably later today or tomorrow 
> 
> Also, the chapter title refers to how far along Karkat is.
> 
> \- R

_December 3rd, 2000_

 

**Dave: Be yourself sixteen years in the past.**

 

Dave wasn’t sure what that even meant. Sixteen years in the past, pch, he was only five! Who could even go that far?

Currently, Dave was sitting in his bedroom, playing with one of his toys. He only had two toys, one being a small bokken, which, if anyone were to google, it would show that it was a wooden katana, like that would amount to anything at all, and even though it is technically a weapon, Dave didn’t have enough strength to use it as such. His other toy, the one he was playing with right now, was a stuffed bunny he was given at birth from one of his mother's’ “friends”. Dave wasn’t allowed to call the Felt members her friends, but he felt as though they were her friends, uncles to him, really.

He left his bedroom quietly, holding his bunny close as he wandered the Felt mansions’ green corridors. He didn’t have much to do, especially since he didn’t brandish any sort of weapons besides the bokken mentioned earlier, but even then, he didn’t have it on him, and he couldn’t use it as a weapon.

Each small footstep he made brought tension to him. His mother normally never let him wander around the large mansion, nonetheless leave his bedroom. When she’d catch him, it would usually end with Dave back in his bedroom, most likely in bed, without his toys. On one occasion, she didn’t let him eat for an entire day, even locked him in his room. If it weren’t for Clover picking the lock, Dave would’ve gotten into way worse trouble with his mom.

As he walked passed the billiards room, he looked in and saw his mother talking to a man with the whitest hair and skin, nearly being the same as Dave’s. He knew this man to be called ‘Doc Scratch’, though Dave would’ve named him something stupid like Vanilla Milkshake or something like that. As he went to go hide, he saw a troll tied to a chair.  
  
“Can’t ya just let me go you fucking bitch?!” The male shouted, his gruff voice showing a slight Russian accent. Dave stood and watched as his mother made her way to the man in the chair with as much grace and elegance as she could.

Her cigarette holder found its way home to his bare grey chest and she leaned in, nipping at the man's ear and when she pulled away, her lipstick was present on his earlobe, “What would be the fun in that, Mr. Slick?”

“The fun would be me not trying to beat your ass!” He struggled against her, snarling as he barred his sharp teeth.

She laughed as she leaned away and she glanced towards the doorway, “David, come here.”

Dave swallowed hard, slowly going towards Snowman before looking at her, holding his bunny close to his chest. His big, red eyes watched her with a mix of worry and fear that most children had when they thought their parents were mad, “Yes, mutti?” He asked, a small whine in his voice.

Just like that, her beautiful face morphed into one of pure unadulterated anger and loathing as she drove her hand across his face swiftly, “Don't call me that again, brat.” She snarled at him angrily. “Now come stand in front of me.”

Dave let out a loud cry of pain, whimpering. “Sorry, Snowman…” He whispered, doing as instructed as tears fell down his face slowly.

She ignored his cries and she shoved the cigarette holder into his hand with a wide, nasty smile, “You want me to love you again? Drive this through his eye.” She purred.

He gripped the holder, crawling up into the troll’s lap to get eye-level with him. He went to do it, stopping when he pulled his arm back to plunge it through. He sat there, frozen like that as he trembled slightly, tears falling rapidly down his face as quiet sobs racked out of him.

“Pathetic.” Snowman huffed out as she took the holder from his small hand she stabbed it through the troll’s eye angrily.

With that, the troll let out a blood-chilling scream of pain, causing Dave to fall out of his lap and onto the floor, watching in horror as he writhed in pain. The troll’s tears fell down his face on one side as a thicker substance trickled down the other. Dave took this moment to try and get away.

A claw-like hand on his shoulder stilled him and another cold hand forced his chin in the troll’s direction, making him watch the gory, traumatizing scene unfold before him.

Dave sobbed, struggling to try and pull away, shaking his head as he shut his eyes tightly. “MUTTI STOP! PLEASE STOP IT! I DON’T LIKE IT!” He screamed out, struggling still.

A loud laugh left her and she leaned down to his ear, “You can go to your room if you pull it out of his eye.” She whispered.

Dave looked at her, pulling away before going to the troll. He hesitated to grab it, causing him to shriek the second he touched it. He made his moves quick, pulling it out as he sat in the troll’s lap, staring in fear at the cigarette holder, which was covered in blood. He dropped it onto the floor and grabbed his stuffed rabbit, running to the door. A loud laugh followed him, chasing him the entire way to his room.

Once inside his room, Dave turned, fear filling his entirety as he held the bunny close to him as he listened to the loud clicks of high heels on the cold floor. They resounded throughout the entire house loudly and sent cold chills down his spine.

Soon, the door swung open and Snowman stood there, looking down at him, “There's my beautiful, baby boy.” She purred at him. “Come to mutti.”

At hearing this, Dave sat his bunny down, running up to her before hugging her tightly, doing his best not to cry on her dress.

“You did so good today, Davey.” She whispered as she rested her hand on his shoulder gently and swiped some olive blood off of his face. “See, I'm not always so mean, you just bring out the worst in me. You want to be a good boy for your mutti, don't you?”

He nodded. “I'll be good, mutti, I promise I'll listen to you and be good.” He whispered, tears cascading down his face as he looked into her eyes with his own.

“I think it's about time for your birthday gift, dear. Wouldn't you say so?” She smiled at him gently but her brown eyes were cold and calculating.

He nodded. “Yeah…” He whispered, avoiding looking into her eyes as much as he possibly could.

“Do you know how old you are?” She picked up a red gift-wrapped package from his dresser and she handed it to him.

He held up five fingers. “Five.” He smiled, taking the package in his arms. “Can I open it?”

She nodded and sat down on his bed as she watched him intently.

He opened the package, tensing up as he pulled out a pair of sunglasses out from the packaging. “Mutti, you got these for me?” He asked softly, tears in his eyes.

She nodded and watched him, “I want you to keep them on all the time unless you're alone to cover up your devil eyes.”

He put them on in front of her quietly. “Okay, mutti.” He whispered, quivering like a leaf.

 

**Dave: Be yourself sixteen years later again**

 

_May 15th, 2017_

 

Dave never recalled being sixteen years in the past, nor did he wish to be in his late thirties, so he decided to be his current self.

Dave was sitting in his and Karkat's bed alone, holding his shades in his hands as he stared at them and thought for a few minutes before his eyes trailed over to Karkat.

Karkat was sitting on a wooden table that was in front of their TV and he looked like he was pretty invested in an episode of ‘I Love Lucy’. He had a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream and his brows were knitted as he watched the black and white show, “Dave? Dave?” The troll turned around to face him finally. “What if we turn out like Ethel and Fred Mertz?”

“Karkat, we won't turn out like them.” He whispered softly. “Actually, I don't know who the hell you're talking about. Is being them a good thing?”

Karkat's lips twisted up unhappily, “No, they insult each other all the time and they act like they don't even love each other.” He sighed softly. “They seem really bitter towards each other.”

Dave moved, pulling Karkat close to him. “We'll never be like them. We'll always love each other and nothing will make us bitter. You're my boyfriend and baby mama, and you're all that matters in my life.”

A small grin spread over his lips and he rested his head on his shoulder, “Well, I kind of picture us as like Peyton Sawyer and Lucas Scott.” His warm carmine eyes met his own gently. “‘When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me… It's you. It's you, Peyton.’“

Dave turned to look at him, kissing him gently. “You're my Lucas.” He whispered softly.

He smirked at him and pressed a kiss to his lips. “My birthday is in a few weeks.” He whispered softly.

“Yeah? What should we do for your birthday?”

“I want a cookout with my parents, uncle, and this time the guy who he keeps flirting with.” He gazed up at him. “If that's okay?”

He nodded. “Of course. I'll let your parents know.” He kissed him sweetly.

Karkat returned it with a content hum, “I'm going to the doctor's office today. They think they'll be able to use a deeper ultrasound device to check the gender of the grubs.”

Dave's eyes widened. “Really? Do you think I'll be able to come?”

“Of course, do you have to go into work today?” Karkat took his hand and he squeezed it gently.

  
“Not at all. I'll be able to go with you.” He squeezed his hand happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also sorry for the shitty ending of this chapter but there will be a part two, so I mean [shrugs]
> 
> \- R


	7. Four Months pt 2

**Dave: Be Karkat.**

 

Karkat never was Dave, why this keeps happening is unknown and should probably stop.

Either way, Karkat is Karkat, and Karkat is currently in the doctor’s office getting an ultrasound done. He held Dave’s hand happily as he gave him loving looks to have them returned.

The technician was studying the screen, a small frown on her face. “You said you were four months along, right?”

Karkat nodded slowly, his grip unconsciously tightening around Dave’s hand. Dave gave him a reassuring squeeze.

“Mind waiting here for a bit?” She asked, going and rushing to get a doctor.

Karkat sat up, avoiding letting his shirt fall down as he rubbed the part of his baby bump wasn’t covered in gel. He looked down at it, seeing it as being slightly larger than a baby bump normally would be at this stage for being pregnant with two grubs. He should know, he’s seen the google images!  
  
“Dave, what if there’s something wrong with the twins?” He whispered, his grip unbearably tight around the human’s hand.

“Karkat, it’ll be fine.” He whispered, swallowing hard. “I hope it’ll be okay.” He added, almost as an afterthought.

The technician returned with the doctor, who took the wand and moved it around Karkat’s stomach, studying the screen with a small frown. After a short while, his eyes glanced at Karkat, his pale lips unable to get the words out of his mouth.

“When you had your last ultrasound, the twins weren’t hatched, correct?” He asked, receiving a nod from Karkat.

“Everything is okay with them… right?” He choked out, translucent red tears starting to escape from his eyes. He moved to wipe his tears, sniffling.

“They’re okay, however, they hatched early.” The doctor informed, his eyes returning to the screen as he handed the troll a tissue to wipe his eyes.

Karkat thanked him, sniffling again. “They, they hatched early? What does that mean? Will they end up born early? Oh God, are they going to die?!” His small frame trembled slightly at the thought, finding Dave’s arms around him quickly. He sniffled, laying his head on Dave’s chest, listening to the human’s heartbeat .

“No, everything is going to be fine. It’ll end up being a human pregnancy, which is perfectly fine, however, one of them seems to have started developing horns, so we’ll have to make sure you have a Cesarean section to avoid anything getting… damaged.”

Dave looked at Karkat. “He’s saying he doesn’t want the babs to demolish your vagina, which it is a vagina.”

An annoyed look crossed his face and he lightly shoved at Dave's shoulder, “It's a nook, Dave. They're not the same thing.”

“Nook, vagina, potato, po-tah-to.” He looked at the doctor. “Is a nook the same as a vagina?” He asked.

The doctor chuckled at this. “I’m not willing to get into this argument, however, aside from their similar structures, a nook and a vagina aren’t the same as a vagina leads to a uterus and a nook leads to an embryonic egg sac. He’s correct, a nook and a vagina aren’t the same thing.”

A smug grin lit his face and he turned to face Dave fully, “I told you so.”

The human stuck his tongue out at him, holding him close still. “What’s the news doc? What’re we having?”

The doctor went back to the screen, studying it with a hum.

After a minute-long silence, which felt like forever, he gave them their answer:

“Two girls. Congratulations.” He mused, giving Karkat a towel to wipe his stomach down as he set off to print them sonogram pictures.

Dave smiled down at Karkat. “Two little girls.” He whispered, kissing him giddily.

He wiped his stomach off, his gaze never leaving Dave's own, “Two little girls. I guess this means that we can finally start getting clothes and painting the nursery, huh?” He smirked.

He nodded. “At least we don’t have to wait another two months to start getting things.” He whispered, smiling happily as the doctor handed Karkat the ultrasounds.

Karkat held the ultrasounds close and he grinned, “Just wait until we show my parents at dinner next week. Do you think they'll go overboard with buying us baby things?”

“Well, I mean, if they don’t I will, so....” He smiled. “They might, which will be helpful.” He kissed him gently.

“What color do you think the nursery should be?” He raised a brow up at Dave as he pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Both girls, so… maybe red and purple? I don’t know, it’ll be cute.”

He chuckled softly, “Those colors don't compliment each other at all. They clash horribly.”  
  
“Then pink and purple? We can have hella pastels up in there, pastel red, pastel purple, fuck, throw in pastel yellow and green if that’ll help. Turn that shit into Easter or something.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “But no, seriously, maybe a soft red and a light purple might work out? I dunno, I’m not a colour expert, I’m a movie director.”

“Pastel yellow and green it is.” He gently papped Dave's face and grinned at him. “Purple and red will never match, Dave. Sorry to crush your dreams.”

He nuzzled Karkat lovingly. “My dreams of clashy colours being in our children’s bedrooms are forever demolished.” He whispered softly.

He kissed his nose gently, “We should get going, huh? Do you want to stop by the home depot?”

“The Home Depot… more saving, more doing.” He picked Karkat up, fixing the troll’s shirt with a happy smile. “I would love to go to the home depot, I love the smell of wood shavings that are inside.”

He booped his nose, “Then let's go, mighty mouse.”

* * *

 

  
Once at Home Depot, Dave grabbed a dolly cart, which was literally a large orange bar and a very long slab of wood with wheels. “My liege, would you like to ride on my dolly?” He asked with a smirk, kissing his cheek as he offered his hand to help Karkat onto the board that was literally only four inches off of the floor.

Karkat examined the dolly and he lightly kicked it before sitting down on it, “Onward, my faithful servant.” He pointed in a random direction in front of them.

Dave nodded happily. “Mind playing the sound of two halves of a coconut being banged together?” He asked, pushing the dolly quickly.

He turned around on the dolly and he gripped one of the sides to keep him on the contraption, “How would I do that?” He frowned.

“Youtube, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, y’know, that shit.” He nodded, looking around before going to an employee. “Hey, I have a question for you.”

The employee looked at Dave. “Yes, sir, what do you need?”

Dave smirked. “Where’s your nursery stuff at, and also maybe some paint stuff as well.”

“Nursery is over near the back on the other side of the store, it’s the fifth aisle away from the wall, and two aisles down from it is paint.” He smiled.

“Thank you so much.” He smiled, pushing Karkat off towards the nursery aisle.

After many cribs being looked at, Dave glanced at Karkat. “Do you want a dark brown crib with matching changing table and dresser? Or should we get white to repaint them to match the nursery? Cause I did the dark furniture in a light-coloured room. But I’m okay with anything.”

“Dark brown. It'll look nicer that way. We should get two of them or a big one.” He mused as he gazed at the wide selection of cribs.

“I think one big one, and then when they get older and need toddler beds, we’ll get two. But for now, they’ll be fine with just one.” He smiled happily.

“Okay, sounds good.” He moved to pick up one of the large boxes but Dave stopped him and he frowned up at the blond as he picked up the box and set it on the dolly.

“Whoa- wait, you shouldn’t be picking up heavy things! It’ll hurt the babies.” He chastised.

Karkat huffed a tiny bit, “I guess I must've forgot.” He mumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Dave pulled him into his arms and held him close. “Please try to be more careful, babe, I don’t want anything bad to happen to our babies.” He whispered softly.

“It's not like I was trying to hurt the babies. I'll be more careful, I just forget that I have limitations now.” He sighed heavily as he relaxed into Dave's arms.

“I know you weren’t trying to hurt them.” Dave stroked his red locks, kissing his forehead as he held him. “I love you.” He told him, gently kissing the tip of his ear.

“I love you too, dork. Now, I guess we move onto your non complementing paint colors?” He teased as he reached up and pushed the blond locks away from Dave's face and his heart start beating a bit faster as he stared into his wine red eyes.

Dave gently pulled him as close as he could, a hand slowly feeling his chest before laying overtop his heart. “It’s beating fast.” He whispered, kissing him slowly and sensually.

A low sigh left his lips as he melted into his arms like the female protagonist in a black-and-white movie would in the arms of her male costar.

The taller male smiled at him once the kiss had ended and both participants had departed. “I want to be with you forever.” Dave whispered, the words tumbling out of his mouth without any form of filter to stop them.

Karkat froze in place and he searched Dave's eyes for a long moment, “You are not proposing to me in a fucking Home Depot, David. I swear to god- Fuck.” He turned around and ran his fingers through his hair before quickly turning around and frowning at Dave. “At least get on your knee or something.”

 Dave couldn’t help the large grin that was covering his entire face, dropping down onto one knee as he took Karkat’s hand. “I don’t have a ring on me right now, but I can give it to you when we’re back home.” He told him. “That is, if you accept.” He squeezed his hand gently. “What do you say, do you want to be Karkat Marius Strider?” He asked softly, awaiting his answer with bated breath, to quote Shakespeare.

Karkat slowly with the help of Dave's shoulder, got down on his knees with him and he cupped Dave's face in between his hands with a sigh, “Dave, you could offer me a ring pop in the middle of McDonald's and I’d still say yes to marrying you, you big dork.” He sealed their lips together to solidify this point.

Dave held Karkat close, holding him close with the happiest smile. “We’re getting married.” He whispered, his face showed how giddy he was, a large smile tattooed onto his face and he wanted nothing more than to kiss him again but they were in home depot still and he wouldn't be surprised if they ended up getting kicked out.

“Yeah, you bet we are. Let's grab that paint and then head home. Our bed is calling for us.” He smirked at him.

“Gladly.” He picked him up as he got up, setting him onto the dolly as he pushed it to the paint aisle with a happy smile.

Karkat had placed his red rimmed reading glasses on and he went through each can of paint with a paint swatch and he hummed before finally gesturing to Dave to where a spring green can of paint rested and he looked at him, “There's only one gallon left, how do you like that?” He asked amusedly.

“It’s perfect, it’s enough to cover an entire four-wall room-”

Karkat picked the very heavy gallon of paint up and promptly dropped it on the floor- only, it wasn't on the floor. No indeed, it was Dave's foot.

Dave stiffened up immensely at this, but said nothing. His breathing became very heavy, however, huffing out of his nose in an alarming way. This was quickly followed by him slowly moving to sit on the floor, tears promptly falling down his cheeks. And then, only then, did he speak.  
  
“MOTHER OF FUCK!!!” It was so loud that it echoed throughout all of Home Depot.

Karkat paled heavily as he looked down at his fiancé and he swallowed hard, “Are you- Dave? Oh fuck. Fuck, I'm so sorry.” He got down beside him and rolled the can of paint off of him and he took his shoe and sock off carefully. “Can you move your toes and feet?”

Dave’s foot didn’t move at all, aside from him rolling his ankle around slowly and painfully. He let out a small whine as he moved to lean against Karkat, tucking his injured foot close to his body. The human didn’t dare say a word as he buried his face into Karkat’s shoulder, letting out a choked sob as he did so.

“Fuck… Do you think it's broken? I didn't mean to- Dave…” He bit down on his lower lip. “Are you going to call off the wedding?”

He shook his head, taking Karkat’s hand before gently squeezing it. He moved a bit closer, hugging him tightly. “No, but do you think we can get the yellow and gowe to the hospital?” His voice was hoarse and broken, pressed into a harsh whisper. Despite this, Dave was calm.

“I- Okay, Dave. Do you want to ride on the dolly?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah.” He kissed Karkat’s hand gently. “I’m still wanting to marry you, though.” He told him, getting his sock and shoe on with a pained hiss, getting up onto the dolly before pulling the green paint up onto it, holding it in his lap as he tucked his broken foot away like a wounded animal would.

“Dave…” He sighed softly and put a tub of soft yellow paint down next to him and then he wheeled the dolly to the front.

* * *

 

After checking out, his hands were still shaking as he loaded the dolly back up with their purchases and Dave reached for his hand. “It’s okay.” He whispered, wiping away his tears as they left the depot.

“I feel like such a dunce. I can't believe I dropped a gallon of paint on you right after you proposed to me.” He sighed shakily.

“Karkat, worse things have happened. Besides, a broken foot and a fiancè is better than being told no.” He moved into the car from the dolly, pulling Karkat into his arms. “It’s all okay, I promise.” He kissed him gently. “Now, um… I can’t drive.” He whispered softly.

“I'll drive.” He kissed his lips gently and then he moved into the driver's side only to be met with an added surprise; his grub bump was pressed right against the wheel. He grumbled quietly and shifted the seat back as he tossed Dave a frown.  
  
“Sorry, didn’t realise the seat was so close.” He whispered, moving and laying his head on his shoulder. “Thank you, baby.”  


“It's fine, it's just my grub bump. I'm getting huge.” He smirked at him as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Ready to get a cast on that foot?”

He nodded. “I wanna get it so people can write on it. It’ll be so cool.” He whispered. “Mostly you, though. I want you to be the one who writes on it the most.

“I'll draw you a reimagination of the Starry Night.” He assured him.

* * *

 

**Karkat: Be the guy getting the cast on**

 

Dave isn’t getting the cast on, dear reader, you have missed it. You missed the details. Mostly because the two authors who write this story have no fucking clue as to how casting works, as they have strong skeletons.  
  
Dave was given a sick-ass cast, pure white like his skin, and crutches, which help him hobble around like a goddamn nerd. He went to Karkat, who had been waiting in the car for him, once the casting was finished, and he smiled at his pregnant fiancé. “Look at my foot, it’s got a cast. I also have a fuck ton of pain meds to be on to keep me from whining about my foot. So just wait, soon my foot will be healed and I’ll have an opioid addiction which will spiral out of control until I move away from pain medications onto heroin. Y’know, becoming a stereotypical director.” He smiled. “That won’t happen, actually, I’m better than that.” He moved to the shorter male. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, I'm ready to go, dork.” He messed his hair up affectionately. “I guess we’re going to have skip on our engagement party in our bedroom, huh?”

“Wait, no, I still want to.” He whined. “I just… can’t be directly on top of you.”

“Oh, you want me to ride an injured man, huh?”

“Even wounded soldiers can get laid, babe.” He smirked, kissing him lovingly.

“You are not a soldier, honey.” He rolled his eyes at him.

He looked off into the distance. “Say that to the paint can. It was war. I lived.” He spoke dramatically, moving to hug Karkat close. “Besides, darling, if I was a soldier, I’d still want you to mount me like your life depended on it.” He chuckled.

Karkat chuckled softly, “How romantic. You'll have a four hundred pound troll riding you.”

“You’re not four hundred pounds. I doubt you’re barely reaching a hundred at all. I mean, you were only ninety seven pounds soaking wet before you were pregnant. You’re pretty light.” He mused, looking at the troll before kissing his red hair happily.

“Yeah but I feel like I'm four hundred pounds, I can't even reach the steering wheel without my stomach bumping it.” He sighed.

He rubbed his back gently. “It’ll be okay, sweetheart.” He whispered, kissing his cheek. “You’re not all that big, besides, you’re pregnant, you’re hosting two small parasitic children that are going to be amazing. Because they have you as one smokin’ hot mama.”

“Parasitic?” He visibly stiffened up in his seat and he sent him a quick look before focusing back on the road with a frown. “Don't call our grubs that, I don't like it. And as for that compliment, you don't need to feel the need to do that. I'm fully aware of just how not attractive I look right now.”

“Bullshit, you’re the sexiest pregnant person I’ve ever seen.” He looked at him gently. “I don’t feel a need to compliment you, I feel the need to express the truth about how big of a goddamn boner your pregnant body gives me.”

“Dave…” The troll hissed sharply as he pulled into their driveway. “I just- I don't really see what you see in me.”

“What I see in you is everything. I know you don’t see yourself as being attractive, but you are. And I don’t just mean physically. I see you as the most amazing person ever, and… maybe it’s just how I am, but every time I look at you, I have to remind myself to breathe because you stun me breathless. And it’s everything you do. You can be the most grouchy grouch, running Oscar the Grouch for his money, and I’d still go ‘that’s him, that’s who I love’. I don’t know, I just- I feel like out of everyone I’ve met, you’re the only one worth being around.” He looked down into his lap. “I guess, what I’m trying to say is, is that I love you to the extent that everything is flawless about you.”

He parked the car and tossed the keys into the back before climbing over and into his lap, “You really are a sap, you know that?” He grumbled gently as he took one of his hands and threaded their fingers together.

He smiled, holding him close. “Yeah, I am. But, I am your sap.” He kissed him lovingly, moving his red locks out from his face before looking into his scarlet eyes. “I love you so much.”

The troll smiled and some of his pointy teeth poked out from behind his lips, “I love you too. So, when do you have to go back in for work?” His red brows lifted up in question.

“Tomorrow morning. We can build the crib and start painting the walls tomorrow night.”

“Yeah.” He sighed softly as he rested his head on him. “I’ll ask my dad to come over to lift the crib inside the house.”

He nodded, kissing his forehead. “Sweetie pie, do you want to go up to our room?” He asked softly.

“Are you just asking me that because my grub bump is giving you a boner?” He drawled out slowly.

“No, I want to cuddle, but that doesn’t mean that sex still isn’t on the table for later. That’s like the four-hour cuddle session’s dessert. The cherry tarts after a long loving meal. A big ‘I want to be with you and just have you’, followed by an emotion-filled act that put two babies in you in the first place, and more long-winded metaphors.”

Karkat blinked at him slowly, “Cherry tarts? An emotion-filled act? Dessert? Are these sex metaphors?”

“Yeah, cherry tart is a metaphor for, well… heh.” He blushed darkly, wiggling his eyebrows at Karkat. “But, as for emotion-filled act and dessert, it basically is me saying that sex is sweet and passionate.” He mused.

“And sweaty and messy.” He mused gently.

“And it always ends with us cuddling together until we end up having to get up to get a shower. Which, um, that reminds me… I’m stuck taking baths because of my cast.” He held him close to him, nuzzling him gently.

“I could get you some bath bombs and salts.” He offered softly.

“Really? Could you also get apple-scented bubble bath as well? We can get cherry as well if you ever wish to join me in a bath just to relax.” He smiled happily, kissing all over the smaller male’s face. “I love you so much.”

“I wouldn't mind apple-scented.” He murmured softly as he returned some of the kisses with a surprisingly heated passion and then he promptly disappeared inside their big house with a swing of his hips. Damn.

  
Dave watched him, swallowing hard as he quickly tried to hobble out of the car and into the house eagerly.


	8. Five Months

_June 9th, 2017_

  


“Mr. Strider, Miss Dorothy Clearwater is on line two. She wants to make sure that you're still up to appearing on the Clearwater show at five sharp with Mr. Vantas.” His secretary spoke in a nasally voice.

“Uh, fuck. Yeah, we’re still on for that. Well, I am at least. I don't really know where Karkat is right now but I'm pretty sure that he’ll still want to come anyways.” He answered after a moment of spinning a pencil around his desk. Sadly, the pencil fell off and he made a mental note to have a funeral for it later. It would be the best funeral. A funeral to end all funerals. Maybe he could even get a few actors to make guest appearances at its funeral.

“Okay.” She clicked off and he sighed heavily as he leaned back in his desk chair and closed his tired eyes.

The last month hadn't passed without more than a few good fights between him and Karkat and even now, they were fighting. Over what? Well, he couldn't be too certain. The fights all tended to blend together after they kept reoccurring.

He wanted nothing more than to be back in Karkat's good graces but at some point, he had gotten tired of the troll always pushing him away and he didn't know what to do anymore. Rose had suggested for them to attend relationship therapy but even the idea of it made him sick. He had gone through enough therapy because of his mother, so thank you but no thank you.

Speaking of the troll, he heard the soft pattering of his feet from somewhere in their house and he gave himself a quick pep talk before rising out of his desk chair and dragging his feet out of his office and towards the noise. He wasn't interested in starting another fight but he always felt warm and fuzzy whenever he saw Karkat and the visible changes that their grubs were making to his normally compact body.

In the kitchen was where he found the elusive troll and he rested his body against one of the walls as he watched him gather some eggs and bacon for breakfast. It hadn't gone unnoticed by him that he only took enough for one person. It was because of this that he decided to keep his presence unknown and his eyes darted downwards to where the troll was idly tracing very light shapes against his stomach, right above where the higher twin was residing. His own fingers itched to touch where their grubs were but he wasn't in the business of wanting to get yelled at. Again.

When the troll turned, probably to grab a whisk from the drawer that was to Dave's right, their eyes met and he watched as the troll froze up before relaxing slightly. Then he let out a small hum, “Thought you were still in your office.”

A slow sigh left his lips and he pushed himself up off of the wall, “Yeah, sorry, I guess I'll just… I'll go paint until our interview tonight.” He said awkwardly as he ran his fingers through his hair, he hadn't brushed it in three days and he winced as his fingers caught on a knot.

“Are you avoiding me?” He asked suddenly, his eyes immediately darting up to Dave's own.

It was his turn to freeze up and he gripped the granite countertop tightly to prevent himself from absconding like he wanted to. “Well, it feels like all I ever do is piss you off or upset you. It kind of feels like-” He paused and grimaced as he looked away from Karkat. “Never mind.”

“No, tell me.” The troll stepped closer to Dave, gently pulling his hand from the granite. “Dave, what does it feel like?” His voice was calm, motherly even.

He quickly took advantage of Karkat's hand in his and he gripped it as tightly as he could without hurting him, “Are you… It feels like-” He took a deep breath and met his eyes warily. “Are you planning on leaving me?”

The troll watched him, his breath huffing out in a stagger. “Dave-” He pulled away, not looking at him. “Why the _fuck_ would you even _think_ that I'd leave you?!” He asked, trying and failing to sound angry as a small hiccup left him. “You think I'd leave you like that? When we're _engaged_ ?! When _I'm_ having **_our_ ** _children_?”

He winced a tiny bit as he let his hand fall back, “Can you count how many fights we’ve had this month?” He asked quietly. “I don't even know what half of them were about.”

He fidgeted in his place quietly as Dave spoke, swallowing hard as he turned his head to the ground. “You're upset because we've been fighting?” He asked, forcing his voice to be loud enough to be heard.

“I don't like fighting with you.” He crossed his arms defensively against his chest as a frown marred his face.

The troll stood there in silence, not saying a word before he finally looked up at Dave as he wiped his tears away. “I'm sorry.” The troll soon continued, “I'm sorry we got into so many fights about complete nonsense.” He turned away, returning to his silent state.

“I'm sorry too.” He murmured quietly as he lightly kicked at one of the lower cabinets awkwardly.

“Why? You've done nothing wrong.” He turned, grabbing the whisk before going and returning to making his breakfast, his back towards Dave.

Dave gravitated towards the kitchen table and he sat down there with a sigh, “I think we should go see a therapist, Karkat.” He said softly.

He stopped cooking, turning everything off. “You want us to go see a therapist?” He asked softly, turning to look at him.

He met his eyes gently and he tried to convey how much he wanted to try it with his eyes, “There's this thing called a ‘Couple’s Retreat’, we could try it out. A lot of older married couples say that it really helps and I… It's not… I think I want to also see a therapist because I'm having nightmares again.” He glanced away for half a second out of guilt for showing how weak he was. “About… her.”

The troll went to him, gently sitting in his lap as he hugged him tightly and as close as he could. “We can do it… how long have the nightmares been back?” He asked softly, gently stroking his hair. “Davey, you don't have to be ashamed, you can tell me anything.”

“Since last month.” He leaned into Karkat gently and he closed his eyes. “Last night, I… I had a nightmare where she came back and made me watch as she killed you and our babies.” He whispered as his voice trembled.

“Davey, why didn't you tell me about these nightmares sooner?” He cupped his cheek, gently nuzzling him as he moved his thumb over Dave's closed eyes.

“I didn't want you to feel like I'm weak and you would've suggested for me to go see a therapist and I hate therapists so much.” He sighed shakily.

“Dave, I'd never see you as weak, and I know you hate therapists, but you need to talk about this to someone.” He turned his head to face him as their foreheads pressed together. “You don't have to worry about her with me around, I'll protect you.”

A sad smile pulled at his lips and he gently pressed his hands to Karkat's baby bump, “You have to protect these two, babe. I'll be fine as long as I have a sword.” He whispered as he gazed into his carmine eyes.

“I'm still going to protect you, Davey, you're my baby daddy and the love of my life.” He whispered back, gently kissing his forehead.

“Throwback to when we were picking your parents up at the airport and you let me be savaged by horny teenagers.” He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. “What happened to ‘twoo wuv’?”

He chuckled. “Horny teenagers are nothing. Besides, I remember a certain horny teenager who tried to get in your pants that had to try so hard to get anywhere with you.” He gently traced shapes into Dave's chest. “Y'know where he is currently?”

He pretended to think about it for a moment and then he smirked at Karkat, “In my kitchen and pregnant with my babies?”

“And also going to give you one big kiss.” He whispered, pressing their lips together sweetly.

Dave hummed against Karkat's lips and he gladly returned the kiss as his hands moved down and groped his plush rump, giving it a firm squeeze.

Karkat gasped, jerking his hips against Dave. “David!” He teased, moving to kiss all over his face.

He chuckled softly as he pulled away but his hands refused to move away from his ass, they were glued to this position and he gently massaged him as he gazed up at him, “So, you coming to the interview with me?” He asked softly with a smirk.

“Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world.” He whispered softly.

Dave booped his nose, “She might bring up some shitty things, can you handle that?”

“Depends, can I hold your hand the entire interview?” He smiled.

“I wouldn't have it any other way, honey.” He kissed his eyebrow and then got up and took over on making breakfast for them.

 

* * *

 

 

As it got closer to five, Dave found himself looking for something to wear to the interview. He looked around for Karkat, only in a pair of boxers as he had taken a brief shower. He ran his fingers through his wet hair gently.

“Baby, can you come here for a second?” He called out, hoping Karkat heard him from wherever he currently was located.

Sure enough, the troll padded into the room and he was wearing a black dress shirt and dark dress pants but that was about it, “I'm not wearing a jacket.” He huffed.

“You don't have to, it's the middle of June.” He reassured him with a small smile. “I can't find anything to wear, could you help me?”

“Why don't you wear that red dress shirt of yours? I like how it looks on you, it always makes me hot and bothered.” He teased.

Dave didn't hesitate to put it on in front of Karkat, striking a pose with it in hopes of getting the troll to be, as he said, hot and bothered.

Karkat's eyes visibly traced over Dave's body and he bit his lower lip, “Dave, we don't have time to mess around.” He reminded him gently.

"Yeah, but we'll have all the time in the world when we get home.” He smirked. “Then we'll go at it like crazed rabbits.”

“Mm… Is that a promise, Strider?” He smirked as he yanked at his shirt and pulled him closer. “So, when is that couples retreat anyways?”

“This upcoming Monday.” He smirked back, kissing him gently.

“Sounds fun.” He murmured against his lips gently. “When do we have to leave?”

“Sunday, that way we can get there on time and check in.” He stroked his hair gently.

“Okay, baby. I guess we should go to that interview now, huh?”

“Mhm, let's go.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Dave: Be the sexy baby mama**

 

As Dave pulled up to the studio where the interview was taking place, Karkat saw a woman with brown hair in a pantsuit on standing outside waiting for them. He'd never seen the Clearwater show, but Dave’s agent had texted them a picture of her.

Dave parked and got out, going and helping Karkat out as well, taking his hand and squeezing it gently. He looked up at his fiancé as a smile found its way onto his face.

“Are you excited?” He asked, kissing his head softly.

“More nervous than anything.” Karkat sighed as he leaned against him heavily.

“Yeah, you never really get used to this stuff.” He whispered honestly. Soon, the woman approached them.

“Hi, you must be David Strider, I'm Dorothy Clearwater.” She shook Dave's hand, soon  turning to Karkat. “And who are you?” She had a smile that made babies want to cry as she forced it to cover her confusion.

“This is my partner, Karkat Vantas, I told you he was going to come.” Dave mumbled, pulling Karkat close and tight to him.

“Oh, I must've forgot.” She chuckled, darting her eyes over Karkat.

 Karkat stiffened up visibly and he gave her a bored look as he placed his hand over his baby bump, “Yeah, well, we should get inside. It's not easy being pregnant with twins.”

She nodded. “Yes.” Her smile faltered as she turned around, leading them into the studio.

Dave kissed Karkat's head. “I love you so much, baby.” He cooed softly.

“I love you too, weirdo.” He smirked as he stole his hand and swung it between them freely the entire way into the studio. And once they were inside, Karkat quickly sat down in one of the chairs on the stage and took his shoes off, rubbing at his swollen feet.

Dave watched this gently and he sat next to his feet on the floor. “Mind if I rub them for you?” He asked softly, a loving look on his face.

Dorothy scowled at this from behind a water bottle as she averted her gaze from them to a producer nearby.

“Go ahead, if you want to.” He wiggled his feet at him with a smile of his own on his face.

He took one of the troll's feet, rubbing it for him.

A low chittering noise started up in Karkat's throat and the troll slowly closed his eyes, “Mm… Do you have any questions for us, Miss Clearwater?”

“Yes, um, how did you two meet?” She asked, looking at them curiously.

Karkat leaned back in his chair as he gazed down at the love of his life with a smile, “Well, before Dave was a big shot director, he was a geeky film student that I had a huge crush on and he insisted that I help him make a film for the county film festival. I refused to do it unless it was a romantic-comedy and we finally agreed to this weird mash up of a romantic-comedy and action horror movie thing. My character ended up dying and I've never forgiven Dave for it.” He teased as he ran his fingers through the blond’s soft hair.

“I remember that.” Dave mused. “It ended in the sad thralls of two lovers exchanging their feelings as one died in the others arms. An ending to make a bunch of people sob.” He chuckled, taking Karkat's hand before kissing it.

Karkat smiled down at him, “And we won first place too. You ended up asking me on a date afterwards.”

“Yeah, and you got sauce all over your face.” He mused. “God, how many years has it been, cause it doesn't feel like that long.”

“Well, let's see here, I'm nineteen, almost twenty now and that was when I was fifteen, so five years?” Karkat stretched out with a long sigh.

“Five years?” Dorothy asked. “Wow, and you're still dating?” She asked.

“Engaged.” Dave corrected.

“Right, yes…”

Karkat sat up a little straighter and he moved his feet away from Dave, “We still need to get around to planning our wedding but I think we’ll have a private event with just our friends and family.” He took Dave's hands and squeezed them.

Dave squeezed them back, getting up and sitting next to him.

“I see, and why don't you want your wedding public?” She raised an eyebrow at them.

“Well, I think it's pretty obvious. The day is about us and us binding our lives together. It's not some publicity stunt.” A glare started on his face but it faded and he pressed a hand to his stomach when he felt a fluttery feeling.

Dave looked at Karkat, then his stomach. “You okay?” He asked softly, stroking his hair gently as he touched his stomach as well.

Dorothy watched with a frown.

“I think the grubs are moving around. Can you feel them?” A huge smile danced across his face as he looked at Dave.

Dave moved his hand around, his own excited smile on his face. After awhile, his smile faded as he shook his head. “Probably not strong enough to be felt yet.” He whispered softly.

Dorothy rolled her eyes. “Unless…” She started, her eyes darting to Karkat.

Karkat frowned as he turned to finally look at her, “Unless what?” He shifted closer to Dave as he rubbed his baby bump generously.

“You could, y'know, not be pre-”

“He is.” Dave interrupted. “I've been to every  appointment, I'm a sole witness, so don't fucking accuse him of lying.” He pulled Karkat into his lap as he scowled at her.

Karkat paused to look at Dorothy and he started laughing as he leaned into Dave, he was always eager for affection from him and this moment was no different, “Did she really accuse me of faking my pregnancy? How the fuck do I have this bump then? Fat doesn't shape like this, you must be out of your god damn mind.”

Dorothy gave a huff of frustration. “Why, I-” She scoffed in anger.

Dave kissed Karkat's face and neck lovingly. “Should we show her the baby bump, or is it not necessary?” He asked softly.

Karkat raised his eyebrows up at her and then he looked at Dave, “Y’know, she doesn't deserve to see it and you deserve a better interviewer than her. Let's just go, David.” He suggested.

He nodded, grabbing Karkat's shoes before getting up, picking him up soon afterwards. “Yeah. Maybe we can just go home and relax.” He smiled happily.

“Yeah, let's go. I don't need to be carried though, Dave.” He pointed out uselessly, he knew Dave wouldn't care what he said about carrying him.

“I know, but I like carrying you.” He smiled, kissing him. “Wanna get anything along the way?”

He melted into the kiss with a long sigh, “Mm… Let's get some things for a beef stew.” He suggested.

He nodded happily. “Yeah, spicy beef stew?” He asked softly.

“Maybe. I've been having a little heartburn lately though.” He fixed Dave's hair gently and he smiled.

“There's an old wives tale that says that heartburn means that one of the grubs has hair.” He mused, kissing him lovingly.

“Oh, so we’re going to have a grub with a full head of hair, huh?”

“Mhm, but it's not guaranteed, some people don't have heartburn and their babies have a full head of hair, and sometimes they get heartburn and have a bald baby.” He smiled, kissing him. “I had a full head of hair, though.”

Karkat gently played with Dave's hair as he slipped into their car and he smirked, “I hope they have your soft, blond hair.”

“Yeah? What if one ends up being a redhead like you? That's my wish. At least one little redheaded baby.” He kissed him gently, getting in the car with him.

Karkat rolled his eyes a tiny bit as he laid his head on Dave's shoulder, “Yeah? Why's that?”

“I like your red hair.” He stroked his hair gently. “It'd be pretty cool to have a redheaded kid, too.”

“If you say so.” He closed his eyes and relaxed on him contently. “I just want two healthy, happy grubs. That's all.” He whispered softly.

“Yeah?” He asked. “Oh, that reminds me, vaccines, we gotta have them for the grubs.” He took his hand, bringing it to his lips before kissing it gently.

“Well, that's a no brainer.” He joked softly. “You ready to go home?”

 "Mhm. Y'know, you have a great opportunity currently.” He looked at him. “You can come up to me and say ‘I'm wet, I'm wild, I'm  pregnant with your child’ and it would be 100% accurate.” He joked.

  
Karkat only groaned in response as Dave drove them home.


	9. Seven months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did somebody ask for an update?!
> 
> No? Well, an update you shall receive anyways!

_ August 15th, 2017 _

_ 10:43am _

  
  


After they got back from the couples retreat, they had a baby shower and the baby shower was an inelegant affair, Karkat had only requested for their closest friends and family to be at it and so that's how it was. And it went without a hitch, surprisingly.

“Dave? Being pregnant sucks.” Karkat complained for about the sixth time just that day as he rubbed at his swollen ankles. He had been feeling uncomfortable all day and it was getting old really fast. “It feels like I have a stomach ache.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” He kissed his head gently, moving to rub his ankles for him. “Here, let me take care of this.” He whispered, giving him a loving smile.

“It's not your fault.” His eyes fluttered shut and a groan left him as the aching pain in his ankles receded but his stomach kept bothering him and he shifted a bit. “Is it normal to be feeling this way? Do you think we should consult with a doctor?” 

“I think we might, how long have you felt like you’ve had a stomach ache?” He asked, getting up before offering to help him up as well.

“Since this morning.” He took his hand and he felt like he was a blimp as he struggled to get up with Dave's help. 

Dave held him close once he got him onto his feet and led him towards the door. “I’ll call your doctor to let him know that we’re on our way.”

“Okay, car first?” He asked and then he quickly gripped Dave's arm tightly to the point that his knuckles were turning white as a sharp pain throbbed through him. “Holy fuck!” He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and he gritted his teeth together.

“Karkat!” He moved, picking him up. “Here, I’m going to carry you.” He offered.

He could only nod dazedly at his words as the white hot pain came back in full force and he choked out a loud cry of pain as he stiffened up in Dave's arms.

Dave swallowed hard, rushing him to the car as he unlocked it, opening the back seat as he set him inside, slamming the car door shut before running around to the front. He got in, dialing the number of Karkat’s doctor, starting the car as he got his seatbelt on himself, pulling out of the driveway.

 

* * *

 

 

Ten minutes later, Karkat slammed his hand down hard on the car door and a flurry of curses fell past his lips, he would put even Satan to shame with the way he dealt out these- he hit the window button and a rush of cold air hit him and while, it felt good, he still cursed even more but his curses were now directed wholly on the window and Dave's shitty car. Even though the car was actually pretty nice for its age.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Karkat, you’ll hurt my car’s feelings.” Dave joked, turning the corner into the entrance to the hospital. “Look, we’re here, okay? We’re at the hospital now. It’s okay.” He cooed back to him, and once they parked close to the entrance they needed to be at, Dave got out and pushed the window up for Karkat, soon scooping him out of the car. “We’re here, it’ll be okay.” He whispered, shutting the door gently before locking the car and walking him to the building.

“Hey, Dave?” He croaked out as the pain left but his muscles were tensed, he knew it would inevitably come back. “I think I'm in labor.”

He stopped, snapping to look at him. “Oh shit.” He whispered, quickening his pace when he continued walking. “We gotta get you in there right now.”

“You don't say?” He snapped irritably but his face softened a bit and he laid his head on Dave gently. “Fuck, I didn't mean that. I just- I'm scared. It's too soon for them to come out.”

“I know, baby, I know.” He whispered, kissing his head gently. “I’m scared, too. I don’t want them to end up hurt, y’know?” He walked inside, signing Karkat in before sitting in the waiting room with him, rubbing his back.

Karkat hesitated a moment before sitting on Dave's lap instead of one of the cold chairs, “Do you think they'll be okay?”

“I’m almost certain they’ll be okay. They’re both strong little girls, and they’ll be perfectly safe.”

He closed his eyes but not even seven minutes later, the pain came back and with it, he felt a liquid soak through his pants but it wasn't his water. This liquid was bright red and he found himself falling to the side as a darkness enveloped his entire vision.

 

**Karkat: Be the scared fiancé**

Dave saw all this, quickly grabbing and catching Karkat. “Karkat?! KARKAT!!” He screamed in a panic, gently shaking him. However, the troll was unresponsive and the stain of his pants was growing darker by the second. Tears were filling his covered eyes as two, maybe three nurses started pulling Karkat away from him. He got up, rushing after them before one of them stopped him. He stood in silence as he watched Karkat being placed onto a gurney and rushed away towards the back.

He slowly sat down, blood soaking his pants as he slowly covered his nose and mouth, muffling his sobs.

 

* * *

Nearly a hour later, a nurse came out to the waiting room and he was holding a chart close to his chest, “Is a David Strider here?”

Dave lifted his head quickly, swallowing hard as he watched the nurse. “Yes?” He called worriedly.

The nurse approached him slowly, “Two healthy twin grubs were delivered but Karkat is still in surgery. It says on his medical chart that you're the father, would you like to come see them?”

He nodded, standing up as he took a deep breath. “I’d love to see them.” He whispered, his heart racing.

The nurse led him through the halls but he couldn't concentrate, the love of his life was still in surgery and it wasn't a confirmed thing that he would even survive. The thought caused dread to pour into his chest as if he were carrying a whole thing of lead inside of him.

Soon, they were at the baby viewing room and there were two grubs wriggling around in their beds. One had tufts of red hair and deep red eyes and the other was bald with red eyes. Ha, bald baby. They both had grey skin and tiny horns on their heads and they looked so much like Karkat that it hurt.

“I- can I hold one of them?” He asked, his voice quivering as he looked at the nurse.

“You'll need to scrub up.” The nurse warned but he grabbed a mask and handed him a blue sheet.

Dave hurried off to the bathroom and he scrubbed his hands raw from cleaning them and after the mask and sheet were on, he returned.

The nurse held the door to the nursery open for him and after taking a deep breath, Dave stepped in, looking around gently before walking coolly to the twins. For someone who was under a lot of stress, he was actually fairly calm. He picked up the one with red hair first, holding her close.

“Hey there.” He whispered, looking at her gently.

The grub chittered up at him as she shifted around in her blanket, she didn't seem to like it at all and Dave chuckled a bit.

“You’re adorable, y’know that?” He cooed, stroking her hair gently. “Just like your mutti.”

The grub yawned and fixed Dave with a grumpy look. Yeah, she was definitely like Karkat.

“Gracelyn.” He mused, moving to caress her cheek with his knuckle. “Our little Gracelyn.”

The bald grub squirmed around for a bit before a loud scree came from her. Dave turned to her, smiling as he set the newly named Gracelyn back down, taking up the bald grub in his hands.   
  
“And you must be our little Marlene.” He smiled, giving her love and affection as well. “You and your sister look so much like your mutti.” He whispered.

Marlene’s eyes drooped a bit and she yawned sleepily as a content purr settled in her small body.  

  
Dave spent that afternoon, talking and holding his two beautiful grubs with a smile on his face and his spirits were lifted. He didn't think for even a moment that there was any possibility of Karkat not waking up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, fuck
> 
> That happened


	10. Fin

It wasn't until the next day that Karkat was stable enough to be allowed visitors and Dave, well, he hadn't left the waiting room at all. Not even to eat, well, he only really left to visit with the grubs but that was different. He could barely even stand to be away from them for too long.

Dave walked towards the room that Karkat’s nurse was guiding him to slowly, swallowing hard as he found himself nervously fiddling with his hands. Once within the doorway, however, his nerves were suddenly washed away.  
  
“Karkat?” He called softly, waiting for a response as he slowly stepped inside the room.

The troll was pale and he had a cannula around his ears and an IV hooked up to him but besides that, he looked pretty okay besides the fact that the hospital gown he was wearing was a bit too big and he was drowning in it. In a different situation, he might have laughed but he was still too worried to even crack a joke about it.

Karkat blearily opened his eyes and he sat up with a wince, “Dave? You look like shit, have you ate yet? I'm starving.” He whined.

“No, I haven’t eaten yet.” He slowly went to the hospital bed, sitting down next to him before gently taking his hand gently. “I’ve been too worried to eat.” He kissed his hand gently, closing his eyes as he sat there, taking in the feeling of Karkat’s hand gently. “The girls are healthy.” He whispered.

“They are? You've seen them? I want to see them.” He looked around on his bed and then finally produced a remote-like thing and made a show of pushing the call button.

“I’m pretty sure they’re excited to see you.” He whispered, stroking his hair gently. “Our little girls are so adorable.” He hugged him gently, a shaky sigh leaving him suddenly.

“They are?” The troll leaned into the hug and buried his face into his neck. “Not too tightly, my stomach hurts.”

“Sorry, I won’t hug too tightly.” He promised, loosening his grip a little as he held him. “You scared me.”

“I didn't mean-”

“Mr. Vantas?” The nurse from before smiled as she stepped in. “Did you need something?”

“Yeah, I want to see my grubs.” Karkat lifted his head from Dave's neck to look at her. “And can I get something for this pain?”

The nurse stepped in and hummed as she looked over his chart carefully, “Of course, your doctor will have to sign off on it but I can track him down and ask. Your grubs will be sent up here soon.” She put his chart back and left.

“They look so much like you.” Dave whispered, looking at Karkat gently. “One of them has your red hair, baby.”

“Really?” His eyes lit up at that and a smile spread over his face. “Does the other one have your hair?”

“Um… actually she’s bald.” He smirked. “We have a baldie.”

Karkat's mouth fell open in shock before a huge grin took over his face, “A baldie? Really? When she's older, I'm going to tell her all about how her vati made fun of her bald status.”

“Oh my God, Karkat.” He kissed him deeply. “Dare you to do it.” He whispered, hugging him close. “I love you.”

“I will definitely do it and I love you too, Dave. When do we get to do the birth certificate thing?” He shifted a bit in his arms before relaxing.

“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up to do the birth certificate thing.” He smiled, kissing his head softly. “But I’ve been calling them by their names so that they’re used to it.”

“Yeah?” Karkat smiled genuinely as the babies were pushed in and his eyes visibly darted over to them and he sat up straighter.

“And here we are.” A different nurse smiled as she set the babies beside the bed and handed them each one. “It's about time for their feeding. Some formula will be sent up soon.” She left.

Karkat was holding Marlene in his arms and he had a ridiculously happy smile on his face as his eyes flicked from her to Gracelyn and back to her, “Jesus.”

“I know right?” Dave whispered, kissing Karkat’s head gently. “They look so much like you, and they’re adorable.”

“Who am I holding? You named them already, yeah?” He smiled as he looked up and met Dave's eyes finally. “She has your nose.”

“That’s Marlene.” He smiled, kissing his head gently. “The other one is Gracelyn, and they’re so identical that I’m actually quite glad Marlene’s bald.” He chuckled, stroking his hair gently.

Karkat chuckled too, “So, when do you think they'll let me go home?”

“Hopefully by the end of the week.” Dave smiled happily.

He nodded and smiled as he leaned against Dave contently.

 

* * *

 

 

Twenty minutes later, a nurse came in with two bottles and she looked between the two of them, “You know how to feed them right?” She asked as she handed them each a bottle,

Karkat shrugged, “It can't be much more different than feeding a human baby. Just can't let any air bubbles get to the baby and that's about it, right?”

“Right.” She agreed and left.

Karkat held Marlene close and he tested the formula on his arm before giving giving her the bottle and she quickly sucked away at it and he smiled at her, “They're perfect.” He sighed happily.

Dave took Gracelyn into his arms, giving her the other bottle as he hummed, looking at Karkat happily. “They’re us.” He whispered.

“Yeah, they are.” He chuckled softly. “I'm just glad that they're healthy.

 

* * *

 

 

A week passed by and Karkat was finally coming home and he winced as he stepped out of Dave's car but he pushed through the pain and went to the back and unbuckled Gracelyn, “Do you have Marlene?” He asked.

“Yes, sir, I do.” Dave smiled, going to the back to unbuckle Marlene. “Do you have your medicine? Or do you need me to grab that for you as well?”

“I have it, it's okay.” He lifted Gracelyn out and closed the door before shuffling his way into their home. “It feels good to be home, doesn't it, Gracie?”

The grub cooed at him happily and he kissed her nose and sat down on the couch with her. He was already so in love with both of the grubs and he felt like his heart would burst every time that he looked at either of their faces.

Dave sat down next to Karkat once he closed the door, scooting close to him with a happy smile. “We’re home.” He whispered, smiling at him happily. “We’re finally home.”

“Yeah, we are.” He smiled genuinely as he leaned in and kissed him deeply

 

* * *

 

 

_17 Years Later_

  


“Dave?!” Karkat called loudly as he searched around their mansion of a home for his elusive husband. Worry was drowning him and he twirled the car keys around on one of his fingers anxiously as he peeked into several rooms with their youngest, Alice on his hip. She had been born six years previously and she was mostly human with Dave's hair and bright red eyes. “The twins’ graduation is today, we have to get going soon!”

“I’m coming!” Dave shouted, poking his head out of their bedroom while holding up two ties. “Which one would be best to wear to their graduation?” He asked worriedly, his hair was still a mess.

Karkat looked between the two ties and then looked at Alice, “What do you think, love bug?” He asked conspiratorially.

Alice scrunched her nose up in thought and giggled as she pointed to the red one on the left.

“Alice, you’re a lifesaver.” Dave smiled, kissing her head sweetly as he put up his other tie, making sure to get the tie on properly. “Alright, and that should do it.” He smiled. “Our baby girls are graduating, Karkat.” He cooed, going to him happily as he took Alice into his arms.

Karkat rolled his eyes and he straightened his crooked tie for him with a smile, “Yeah, they are. Then they'll be going to college or getting jobs…” He frowned unhappily. “Do you think they're going to leave as soon as they turn eighteen?”

Alice patted down Dave's hair happily.

“I doubt they’ll be wanting to leave us anytime soon.” He smiled, kissing Alice’s cheek. “Well, let’s go and watch our girls walk.”

“Yeah, okay.” He smiled and he kissed his husband gently and he felt pretty content with his life. They had three kids, they were married, and they were hardly ever separated from each other by Dave's job. The helplessness that he had felt seventeen years ago was completely gone and all was truly well.

  
  
  
_Yeah, well, maybe, maybe, maybe_  
_You'll find something that's enough to keep you_  
_But if the bright lights don't receive you_ _  
Well, turn yourself around and come on home_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally finished! :p


End file.
